


Out of the Blue

by lilyvandersteen



Category: Glee
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Pride and Prejudice References, Rich Anderbros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22695481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyvandersteen/pseuds/lilyvandersteen
Summary: Kurt organises a fake wedding for Brittana to get presents from random billionaires. Cooper is one of those invited, and he shows up with his brother in tow. Sparks fly, but not of the good kind. Enemies to lovers, anyone? With a slight Pride and Prejudice vibe?
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 129
Kudos: 105
Collections: Blaine Big Bang 2020





	1. Plus One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redheadgleek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redheadgleek/gifts), [HKVoyage (voyagehk)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/voyagehk/gifts).



> Yes, I’m posting my Blaine Big Bang 2020 fic today! A huge big thank you to my beta @hkvoyage for her invaluable feedback and never-flagging encouragement, and to my artist @redheadgleek for the lovely cover art she made for this fic! 
> 
> The links in the fic lead to photographs illustrating something that I've mentioned.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story, and by all means, let me know what you think, I love hearing from you :-)

# Chapter 1: Plus One

_Between him and Darcy there was a very steady friendship, in spite of a great opposition of character. -- Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied._

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

“What do you need a plus one for? A charity dinner?” Blaine asked, buttering a piece of baguette and taking a big bite. He’d been up and about since six that morning, and was too hungry to wait until his soup was heated up.

Cooper grinned. “A wedding. This Saturday.”

“Oh no, no, no, not again! Remember that drunk old man the last time who kept groping me? I’m not coming with you. No way."

Cooper put his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. “Now, Blainey, don’t be like that. We’ve always had good times at these weddings together, haven’t we? I love this new hobby of mine! Relieves more stress than a deep tissue massage. Touching ceremonies, good food, singing and dancing, and tons of people in the mood for some fun. Can’t fathom why I ever turned down wedding invitations before. Why did I? Oh yeah, probably because I worked 24/7. Glad I’m past that stage now. It’s way more fun spending money than making it. And everybody loves the gifts I show up with at weddings. Remember that time I bought the newlyweds a brand new Aston Martin? They were so happy!”

Well, it was certainly true that Cooper had worked his ass off to get where he was now. When Blaine was a child, his brother starred in so many ads that Blaine saw him more often on television than in real life. And then, Cooper had moved away to Los Angeles to start his own advertising business, and in a few years, his firm had become a household name. The flip-side of that was that Cooper hardly ever came home for a visit anymore. He missed even Christmas, and though he sent amazing presents for Blaine’s birthdays, he never once showed up.

Cooper HAD been there when it mattered, though. When Blaine ended up in hospital after the Sadie Hawkins dance, Coop had dropped everything and flown to Ohio immediately, where he’d spent the next weeks entertaining Blaine by reading to him and singing with him and telling funny stories about shoots he’d done.

And when Blaine graduated high school and his father refused to pay for college because he wanted to study music composition instead of something ‘practical’, Cooper had smoothed the way at once. He had relocated to New York, bought a brownstone close to the NYU campus and invited Blaine to come live with him, ‘to keep him company’, and had paid him handsomely to help him out with work, doing odd jobs. In no time, Blaine had learned how to build sets, apply make-up, spray long hair to make it look enticingly windswept, arrange food on a plate in the most appetizing way and produce all sorts of sound effects. He’d even written a jingle or two – which made him money every time it was played on the radio and on TV!

By the time school started, Blaine had found out that Cooper had paid his NYU attendance fees and bought all his course books for him.

Cooper had waved away Blaine’s thanks. “You’ve worked hard this summer, and I know I’ll be able to count on you again when I need you.”

“Of course.”

And in the years that followed, Cooper did call on him from time to time, but he made sure not to overtax his brother, and to leave him alone when he had too much school work.

Yes, all in all, Cooper was an amazing brother. Blaine just wished he’d get another hobby. He hated being tagged along to a wedding where he didn’t know anybody.

Cooper shot Blaine a winning smile and turned his laptop in Blaine’s direction. “And these two have such INTERESTING things on their wedding registry list. Look! They’re asking for a [Louis XV pet pavilion](http://incrediblethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Louis-XV-Pet-Pavilion.jpg). And look at this [Swarovski-studded cat flap](http://incrediblethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Swarovski-studded-Cat-Flap.jpg)! It’s all cat stuff. I don’t think there’s one thing on the list that’s for themselves. Isn’t that FASCINATING? Oh, I want to go!”

“So take your secretary,” Blaine suggested. “Or that leggy blonde that sneaked out of the house at five o’clock this morning.”

“Ew, no! They’d both think I was serious about them if I took them to a wedding.”

Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother. “Why don’t you go stag, then?”

Cooper pouted. “But it’s no fun turning up there all by my lonesome! I won’t know anyone!”

“What do you mean you don’t know anyone?” Blaine probed. “It’s not the daughter of a business associate this time?”

“Nope.”

“A friend from high school or a cousin twice removed who knows you’re filthy rich now and wants a piece of that?”

Cooper shook his head. “Nope and nope.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me you’re crashing a wedding you’re not even invited to? Not again! One day, you’re going to get in trouble for that, and you will only have yourself to blame!”

Cooper grinned and fanned himself with an ivory card. “Nope. Got the invitation right here!”

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. “So what, you got a wedding invite from total strangers?”

“Weeell…” Cooper drawled, letting the sentence trail off with a shoulder wiggle.

“Well what?”

Cooper studied the photograph on the invitation and tilted his head to the side. “It’s possible I slept with one of the brides. The blonde one looks kind of familiar.”

Blaine side-eyed his brother. “Kind of? As in, you’re not even sure?”

Cooper shrugged. “Hard to keep track of them all.”

Blaine sniffed in disgust.

Cooper studied the card again. “But I’m 80% sure. And isn’t it sporting of her to invite me to her wedding? I don’t want to get married, but I’m all for other people tying the knot. And inviting me to the party.”

The microwave pinged, and Blaine got his soup out and started to eat, paying no more attention to his ridiculous brother.

Cooper left him alone for a few minutes, scrolling through the wedding registry and occasionally exclaiming about another idiotic cat accessory. Then he wheedled, “Come with me? Pretty please? With cherries and cream on top? I really want to go!”

Blaine glared at Cooper. “No. Find someone else. I have essays to work on this weekend, and I have a gig Sunday evening. An actual paying gig this time, not just an open mic thing. So I have to be sober and well rested. I want them to ask me back.”

Cooper pouted. “Ruin my fun.”

“Oh, I’m all for you having fun,” Blaine said, rinsing out his bowl and putting it in the dishwasher. “Just don’t expect me to tag along.”

He took his satchel and headed towards his room, but Cooper stopped him with a hand on his arm. “I’ll buy you a vintage Martin guitar like that guy from across the street has. I’ve seen you looking, that time he invited us for a barbecue. More hungry for that guitar than for the ribs and sausages Ted was grilling.”

“He doesn’t even PLAY it!” Blaine whined. “It’s hanging on the wall for show. Because it costs the earth. Why would you buy a guitar that sounds THAT good to just hang it on a wall?”

Coop nodded. “Exactly. You would never. That’s settled then. I’ll get you your guitar, and you’ll come to the wedding with me. Thanks, squirt, I knew I could count on you!”

And off he was, taking the stairs two at a time, whistling.

Blaine stared after him, then shook his head and chuckled. Coop always knew how to get his way. All right then, where was his [grey suit](http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/22200000/Darren-GQ-Photoshoot-darren-criss-22209388-226-500.jpg)?


	2. A Good Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Twitter feed mentioned in this chapter circulated around Tumblr a while back, and I just KNEW I had to turn it into a fic one day :D
> 
> This is the blog post in question: https://lilyvandersteen.tumblr.com/post/190456831744/thesorrowoflizards-awful-brew

# Chapter 2: A Good Idea

_“This was a lucky idea of mine, indeed!” said Mrs. Bennet, more than once, as if the credit of making it rain were all her own. Till the next morning, however, she was not aware of all the felicity of her contrivance._

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Kurt sipped from his cocktail and leaned back contently. It was Friday night, he didn’t have any shifts at the diner the following day, and all his favorite girls were here for a night out, even Mercedes and Brittany. Life was good.

It was fun catching up with everyone. He told them all about the photo shoots he’d helped his boss Isabelle with at Vogue, and the articles he’d written for the website. Quinn was interning with a district attorney at the moment, and talked about the court cases she’d attended so far. Tina had been helping out a vet treating farm animals exclusively, and told stories about cows calving and a horse that had to be put down after breaking its leg. Mercedes’ tour was a big success, and she was thinking of taking it overseas. Brittany, who was one of the back-up dancers at Mercedes’ concerts, was all for that plan, and summed up all the cities she wanted to visit.

Rachel, for once, wasn’t monopolizing the conversation, seeing as she was sad about another short relationship that hadn’t worked out. And Santana was more mellow than usual, seeing as she had Brittany with her.

The two of them were cuddling and whispering softly and smiling, and it sent a pang of jealousy through Kurt. He didn’t envy Santana the long-distance relationship. He’d witnessed first-hand how hard it was for her sometimes. But he did long for that bond that Santana and Brittany had. He too wanted someone who’d understand him with half a word, who’d move mountains just to be with him and who’d look at him as though he were the most precious jewel on earth.

All he’d ever had in the way of relationships was an admirer called Chandler when he was still in Ohio. Kurt had liked the compliments Chandler had showered him with, and had liked getting Chandler’s undivided attention. It was flattering, and it did wonders for his self-esteem. See? Someone thought he was worth talking to! Someone appreciated his fashion sense!

That was why he’d agreed to go on a date with Chandler, and after that a second one. They’d gone to the cinema together, and then shopping at the mall another time. And Kurt was pretty sure that Chandler expected more to come of it, looking at Kurt with hope in his eyes at the end of each date. But Kurt couldn’t bring himself to kiss Chandler. Not when he didn’t feel anything for him other than gratitude and kinship.

So their relationship petered out before it could even begin, and Kurt couldn’t say he regretted it. But he’d very much hoped that his dating prospects would improve upon moving to New York City, and that hadn’t been the case.

Yes, the leader of the Adam’s Apples show choir had recruited him with a serenade, but he’d made no move beyond that, and Kurt hadn’t dared ask him out.

And when he’d started his Madonna cover band, he’d developed a crush on Elliott – could you blame him? – and admitted to it one night after a gig, half-drunk and giggly, only to be told that he was about five years too late to make his move. That was how long Elliott had been dating his boyfriend, and when he brought Mark along to rehearsal the next time, they proved to be ridiculously happy and in love. So no luck there, either.

It wasn’t his looks, he knew that much. In his stage combat lessons, he could see other students check out his body, which had filled out nicely. But none of them ever came on to him, and anyway, Kurt wasn’t sure he’d be interested in just a hook-up.

Still, it wasn’t fun to be the only one of his friends who’d never even been kissed. Other than by a girl or a bully, but that didn’t count. It didn’t, okay?

When Kurt tuned back into the conversation, he heard that they were talking about a tweet Tina had found on her Twitter feed that encouraged people getting married to send an invitation to all billionaires they could find the address of. If you got lucky, those billionaires’ secretaries would think you were a friend or relative of their boss and would send you a gift.

“Wouldn’t it be great if one of us got married so we could get some decent stuff for the loft?” Santana asked. "We barely have anything, and we could ask for all of it! A blender. A coffee machine. A panini maker. And, you know, bedding. Sleeping on the sofa would feel a lot better if I had a decent pillow and comforter. And bath towels. Big and thick ones."

“Oh yes,” Kurt chimed in. “A wok, a food processor, a real Le Creuset pan. Good knives. Matching sets of plates and cutlery. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but just more. Now we have to wash up after every meal because we only have six of everything.”

“A vacuum cleaner that actually works,” Rachel sighed. “It was nice of Carole to give us her old one, but let’s face it, its best days are over. Oh, and what about a quality throw blanket to hang over the sofa, to hide the stains?”

Kurt nodded. “I also want a full-length mirror for the bathroom, and a nicer hamper for the dirty laundry. The kind that doubles as a bench.”

Rachel put her chin in her hands and stared dreamily into space. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

“It would,” Santana and Kurt agreed.

“Too bad none of us are getting married anytime soon,” Kurt mused.

“Well, I’m not seeing anyone, and neither are you,” Rachel said, “so technically, we could get fake hitched, but I don’t think anyone would buy you and I getting married. The wedding would be fabulous, of course, but obviously fake.”

Kurt suppressed a shudder, and Santana threw her head back and laughed.

Rachel pressed on, “But Santana could totally get married. What about it, Santana? At least you and Brittany are dating.”

The proposition shut Santana up at once. She stared at Rachel with her mouth wide open.

“I’d like to be married to you,” Brittany piped up, smiling softly and kissing Santana on the nose. “And I’m sure Kurt would help us plan the wedding, wouldn’t you, Kurt?”

Kurt grinned at her. “You know it!”

“And I know just what the invitation should look like!”

Brittany took a piece of crayon from behind her ear and started sketching a tree with hearts instead of leaves.

“That’s beautiful, honey,” Santana murmured, and Brittany beamed at her. “So we’re doing this?”

Santana nodded, and claimed Brittany’s lips for a lingering kiss.

“Okay, okay, that’s as much foreplay as I can stomach,” Kurt said. “Let’s get back to the loft. You can have my bed tonight if you promise not to be loud and not to get the bed linens dirty. Use a towel.”

Brittany kissed Kurt on the cheek. “Thank you, Kurtie!”

When they reached the loft, though, Brittany made no move to join Santana in Kurt’s bedroom. Instead, she badgered Kurt into opening Photoshop on his laptop so she could recreate the love tree in digital format. She added a recent picture of her and Santana, and looked up examples of wedding invitations on the internet to see what information should be on the card.

Before Kurt knew it, Brittany had commandeered all of his expensive ivory drawing paper to print the invitations on, and she set Rachel to work Googling names and addresses of billionaires.

Soon, Kurt was calligraphing these addresses onto hot pink and deep purple envelopes from Rachel’s stationary set, while Brittany was setting up an online wedding registry.

When that was done, she used up all of Rachel’s stamps to frank the invitations, and then ran out to go post them.

Rachel and Santana were already fast asleep by the time Brittany came back, and Kurt had almost drifted off when he heard a cheery, “There, all done!”

He chuckled at Brittany’s enthusiasm, closed his eyes and was out like a light.

The next day, they all woke up with hangovers and no recollection of their wacky wedding scheme nor the fake invitations Brittany had sent.

On Monday evening, though, Santana blanched and gasped when she checked her e-mails during dinner. “ _Dios mio_!”

“What is it?” asked Rachel, spearing three green beans onto her fork.

“Brittany! She actually sent out wedding invites! And somebody has accepted the invitation. Who goes to a wedding of people they don’t know at all? And what on earth are we gonna do?”

“Wait, what? Who is this person?”

Rachel looked over Santana’s shoulder at the screen. “Cooper Anderson… Oh yeah, that’s the guy from those FreeCreditRating.com commercials, you remember? We all had that jingle as our ringtone for a while.”

“You mean YOU did,” Santana muttered, rolling his eyes.

Kurt wisely didn’t mention he’d had that ringtone, too.

Oh, he remembered the FreeCreditRating guy only too well. He even had a signed poster of him somewhere, that dated back to a talent show at the Westerville mall. Cooper Anderson had been one of the judges of the show, and Kurt had taken part just to get to see him in the flesh. Kurt had been the runner-up of the competition, after Rachel, and had gotten to shake Mr. Anderson’s hand and stammer about how much he admired him. And Mr. Anderson had been so gracious about it all, giving Kurt a 1,000 Watt smile and asking him if he’d like an autograph. So Kurt had whipped out his latest edition of Vogue and had Mr. Anderson sign a perfume ad he starred in.

Kurt smiled at the recollection, and nodded along when Rachel continued to gush about Mr. Anderson.

“He’s ever so handsome. And ever so rich. He’s a Westerville Anderson, so he comes from old money, and then he started this advertising company that everyone uses nowadays, so now he’s a billionaire ten times over.”

“Nice!” said Santana. “So whatever he buys us as a present, it’ll be worth it. But how are we going to pull this off in… What?! Less than a week! Britt put this Saturday as the wedding date!”

“WHAT?!!” Kurt and Rachel shrieked in unison.

Santana waved at the screen. “See for yourself. This Saturday, at 6.30 p.m., in our loft.”

Kurt shook his head in disbelief. “Five days! Neither of you have wedding dresses, we don’t have an officiant, we don’t have a wedding cake nor any other party food, we don’t have any flowers or decorations fit for a wedding. This is a disaster!”

“But you CAN do it, right?”

Santana’s hand clamped around Kurt’s arm like a vice, and she looked up at him beseechingly. “Please help us out? You organized Burt and Carole’s wedding in a week too, right?”

“Two weeks,” Kurt corrected absent-mindedly, his brain already working overtime. “I suppose I could manage it. But you’d owe me. Big time. I want at least half of the wedding present haul.”

“Done.”

Rachel clapped her hands and cheered. “Can we look at what people have bought you already?”

Santana clicked through to the wedding registry, and her face went slack with horror.

“What?” Kurt asked.

“Britt only put cat stuff on the list,” Santana groaned as she scrolled through the list. “Nothing but cat stuff.”

“She did what?” Rachel screeched.

Kurt didn’t say a word. He took over the mouse and checked what had been bought already. So far, Cooper Anderson was the only one who had chosen something. He had put his name down for a pet pavilion that was worth a cool 25 grand. 25 grand! For something so ridiculous! You could fit out an entire kitchen with that amount of money! What a waste!!

“Ugh, as much as I love Britt, I kind of hate her right now,” he murmured, and he heard Santana and Rachel hum in assent.

Kurt clicked on “Edit your wedding registry” and started to delete all of Brittany’s choices, one by one, muttering curses under his breath when he arrived at the costly pet pavilion that he couldn’t delete because it had already been bought.

“Now, before anyone else buys something we don’t want or need, let’s add all the stuff that we DO want,” he said, and between the three of them, they compiled a decent list.

When he’d clicked on “Save changes”, Kurt let out a deep breath. “Well, looks like I’ve got some wedding planning to do. This had better be worth it, San!”

Santana was still too shaken up to snark back. She just looked at Kurt like a deer caught in the headlights. “Can we do this?”

Kurt nodded. “We can do this. Calling Isabelle straight away!”

Isabelle, when she heard the story, laughed for five minutes straight, but then promised all the help she could offer. “Bring the brides along tomorrow, I’ll find them dresses and shoes, no problem. And you can use whatever decorations we have lying around here. What else do you need?”

“Rings for the brides. Dresses for two bridesmaids, I’ll bring them too. A three-piece suit for both me and the officiant,” Kurt started listing. “The others are on their own and will have to dig up whatever formal wear they’ve got lying around. Then, what else, let me think… Chairs for the ceremony. The weather will be nice on Saturday, thankfully, so we’ll have the ceremony and the reception on the roof of our building. There’s a railing all around, so it’s safe, and I’ve already made a cosy corner there that we sit in when the loft gets too hot. Very sturdy and well-made trelliswork. I will just have to decorate it.”

Isabelle hummed. “White roses. We’ve got tons of fake ones from the May issue, remember? You’re welcome to them, but make sure we get them back afterwards.”

“Will do,” Kurt promised. “The guests will have to go through our loft to get to the roof, though. You can only get there using the fire escape. So we will need a cover for our sofa. It’s in a terrible state. Stains all over. Ugh, we’ll have to start by cleaning the whole loft top to bottom. Girls, you WILL help!!”

Rachel and Santana murmured their agreement, and Santana went to look for cleaning supplies, while Rachel started to tackle the piled-up dishes in the sink.

“Oh, and could I borrow a few of those high tables people can stand around to eat finger food? We’ve got no room for a sit-down dinner.”

“Reception tables,” Isabelle said. “Yep, we have about twenty of them, and you’re not going to need that many, are you?”

“Nope. Five or six will do. Plus decent tablecloths for those tables, so that they don’t look cheap. I’d also like twinkle lights. As many as you can spare. And some sheer fabric or tulle I can wrap them in before I drape them all over the terrace.”

“Right, I’ll find you some,” Isabelle promised. “Do you need vases for flowers?”

Kurt hummed, thinking hard. “Nope, I’ll repurpose some empty wine bottles. Dipped in silver glitter, they’ll look fab. I’ll hang some on the railing and I’ll put the others on the reception tables. And some in the loft as well. And maybe some twinkle lights there, too. If you have some other decoration ideas, please let me know. Oh, and wedding favors! What do I do for wedding favors? For my dad and stepmom, I put a wheelbarrow with seed packets in the garden, with a sign that said, ‘Take one and watch love grow’. But that only works for a garden wedding.”

Isabelle hummed. “Let me think about it and get back to you. What are you going to do about the food?”

“Make it myself. Thank heavens we have a big fridge and freezer. We’re going to need every inch of space.”

Isabelle tutted. “Don’t overdo it, Kurt. You don’t want to fall asleep halfway through the wedding because you’ve been working day and night to make this perfect.”

“I’ll make everyone help.”

The steel in Kurt’s voice made Rachel and Santana look up from their work in alarm, but they didn’t protest. They knew all too well it was futile.

The rest of the week passed in a frenzy of cleaning, cooking, baking, decorating as well as inviting and briefing their other friends.

Elliott agreed to act as the officiant for the wedding, Artie offered his services as a DJ and Tina volunteered to be the photographer. Mercedes and Artie rehearsed the song for the first dance while the brides worked on the dance itself. Sam made himself invaluable running errands and assisting Kurt from dusk till dawn, and didn’t give a peep in protest when Kurt sat him down for a haircut.

By Saturday afternoon, the loft and the terrace both looked splendid. The twinkle lights wrapped in tulle gave the loft ceiling and the terrace a dreamy but festive air, and the silver bottles holding colorful flowers added to the splendor without making it tacky.

Kurt was hard at work decorating the top tier of the wedding cake while Elliott rehearsed the ceremony with San and Britt, Rachel prompting them whenever they faltered.

When the cake was safely stowed away in the fridge, Kurt checked the wedding registry one last time. It seemed like all his work had served some purpose after all. Their scheme had worked out pretty well. Brittany and Santana had received a gift from no less than eighteen billionaires, some of it pricey stuff. The Louis XV pet pavilion was a sad waste of money, of course, but Kurt was pleased with the other gifts, and was mentally already picking his favorites.

Humming happily, he helped zip up dresses and arrange the brides’ and bridesmaids’ hair, and then went to his bedroom to put his suit on and check on his coif.

When he headed back to the living room, he noticed that all their friends had arrived, and grimaced at all the noise they produced. He hadn’t slept properly in days, and he felt a headache coming on, throbbing at his temples.

Artie was testing the music installation, and soon all of the former Glee clubbers were singing and laughing and dancing. Kurt slunk away to the kitchen and put his head against the cool metal of the fridge to soothe the pain.

He’d almost dozed off when a loud voice rang through the loft. Mr. Anderson! He’d arrived!


	3. Mr. Grumps Down in the Dumps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a terrible mood whenever I haven't slept enough, and Blaine in this story is just as moody and irritable when sleep-deprived :-) You have been warned!

# Chapter 3: Mr. Grumps Down in the Dumps

_Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and everybody hoped that he would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters._

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

That Saturday, Blaine was in a horrible mood. He’d been woken in the middle of the night by loud squeals. Cooper’s latest conquest was a screamer, it seemed. What’s more, she hadn’t left discreetly after the hook-up. Instead, she stayed for breakfast, never noticing how her shrill peppiness made both Anderson brothers wince, and she addressed Blaine like he was a child. Now, he’d be the first to admit that he wasn’t too tall and that he looked young, but he looked teenager young, not toddler young.

When she exclaimed over his ‘cute curls’, and threaded her fingers through them, he gritted through his teeth, “Don’t touch me!” and stomped away, his stomach growling in protest when he left his breakfast half finished.

He was working on an essay for school when Cooper came in and flung himself onto Blaine’s bed. “She’s gone, squirt.”

“Don’t call me squirt,” Blaine snapped. “And good riddance. You sure know how to pick them, ugh.”

“She had great boobs.”

“That must have been the only great thing about her.”

Cooper tilted his head to the side, conceding the point.

“And now I’m starving because she chased me away from breakfast!”

Cooper chuckled. “Aw, Blainey, you didn’t like having your curls played with by a beautiful lady?”

Blaine shot him a dark glare, but it only made Coop laugh out loud.

“If you’re only coming here to laugh at me, you can clear out. I have work to do, and I don’t need any distractions.”

Coop rolled onto his stomach. “I came here to touch base about our plans this evening.”

“Plans?”

“The wedding! It starts at 6.30 PM, it says on the invitation. And it’s in Brooklyn, so we should probably leave by 5.30.”

Blaine groaned. He’d forgotten all about the wedding.

“I got you your guitar!” Cooper said, dashing out of the room, and coming back with a gleaming guitar case. “Here you go!”

Blaine’s fingers itched to open the case and try out the guitar, but he had school work to do, so with another groan, he turned away from Cooper and his bribe and focused on his research.

“And I’ll bring you a sandwich. And coffee. Okay?”

True to his word, Cooper brought Blaine food and coffee five minutes later. Blaine grabbed the sandwich right away, bit into it and mumbled a fervent thanks.

“5.30, squirt, don’t forget!”

Blaine, his mouth full to bursting, just nodded, letting the ‘squirt’ slide for now. Getting food in his system was more important. Ah, but he was hungry!

K&B

At four o’clock that afternoon, Cooper bounded back into Blaine’s room.

“Blainey… Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the wedding? I know how long it takes for you to fix your curls and make yourself pretty!”

Blaine let out a deep sigh. “All right, all right, I’ll stop working and hop into the shower.”

Cooper beamed. “I’ll be in the living room.”

“Oh, Coop? What did you buy them as a wedding present?”

“The pet pavilion, of course! They’re going to be so pleased!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “If you want me to tag along, buy a NORMAL present in my name, please. You can waste your money on this ridiculous overpriced cat stuff, but I want to give the brides something useful.”

“Like what?” Cooper asked.

“Like a nice duvet. Or a set of bath-towels. Or some top-of-the-range kitchen stuff. Let me see the invitation, please?”

Cooper went to fetch it, and handed it to Blaine, who looked up the wedding registry. He was pleased to see that the brides had, in the meantime, added regular stuff like pots and pans and a clothes hamper.

“Get me that set of [fruit bowl](https://ii1.pepperfry.com/media/catalog/product/s/t/800x880/Steelcraft-Stainless-Steel-Flower-Shape-Fruit-Bowl-Set-of-3-FB-132-1343053093TOST44.jpg)s. That’s a nice gift.”

Cooper saluted. “Consider it done. A fabulous gift from me and a boring one from you.”

By the time Blaine was showered and groomed and suited up, Cooper had bought a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a congratulations card for the brides as well, and handed it to him with a wide smile. “All set now! Let’s go!”

When the town car came to a halt at the address mentioned on the invitation, Blaine frowned as he got out. The neighborhood looked derelict. And the people hanging around seemed a little too interested in Cooper’s gleaming car, which stood out like a sore thumb.

Blaine shivered and hoped they wouldn’t get mugged. That was all he needed to ruin the day further.

Cooper seemed to get the same vibe, and said to their chauffeur, “Best not stay here, Bill. I’ll call you when I need you to come pick us up.”

“Right, sir. Good evening, sir.”

And the car drove off. At once, Blaine felt very vulnerable. Holding the bouquet, he wouldn’t be able to fight if someone were to attack him.

“Let’s go inside,” he urged Cooper.

The building looked just as run-down on the inside. There was no elevator, and the stairs were worn and creaky.

The apartment numbers weren’t clearly indicated, but there was music floating down, so they only had to follow the sound to find the right place.

When Cooper knocked, nobody seemed to hear him. Not the first time, not the second, nor the third. After five tries, Blaine huffed, shoved the flowers at his brother, and tried to open the door. It slid open easily to reveal a loud and colorful chaos. All the guests were clapping and dancing, and in the middle were two gorgeous women in white dresses, singing Valerie and dancing with each other and giggling.

“Well, nothing like jumping straight into the party,” Cooper said. He put the flowers and the card on the nearest table and joined the dancers.

Blaine stayed where he was, looking at the brides and their guests and feeling very much out of place.

“Ooooh,” the brunette bride sighed as she sank onto the sofa after the song. “You know, Britts, that was the first time. That I felt like… I wanted to be with you forever. You were dancing with Mike, and I came to dance next to you, and you smiled. And I just knew. That you were the one.”

“Awwww, how sweet,” Cooper cooed loudly, and more than just the brides’ heads snapped up.

“Oh, the last guests have arrived!” said a clear, high voice. “Welcome, welcome!”

The voice belonged to a tall man with blue eyes, a high coif and a clear complexion. He was dressed in a velvet burgundy three-piece suit that hugged him in all the right places.

Blaine felt attraction flare up bright and wild, but squashed it quickly when he saw that Mr. Gorgeous only had eyes for Cooper. _Figures_. _Who’d see me next to Coop?_

He wished he could just disappear. Nobody wanted him here anyway, not even Cooper, who was charming everyone already and having a splendid time, so it seemed.

But he felt himself grabbed by the arm as Coop loudly proclaimed, “And this is my younger brother Blaine. He was in show choir too!”

Blaine, taken off-guard, could do no more than say, “Uh, hi!”

Coop whispered in Blaine’s ear, “Smile! I saw you looking at the fashionable guy. If you want him, hit him with that Anderson charm!”

Blaine did as he was told, but he might as well have been invisible for all the reaction he got - a few polite nods and a once-over from a few of the girls. Mr. Gorgeous didn’t even spare him a glance. He was too busy sucking up to Coop, and mentioning emphatically that he was single, and hadn’t had much luck in love so far. Unlike Ohio, where he was from, New York City had plenty of gay men, but none that wanted to commit, it seemed.

Coop nodded. “I know what you mean. I’m not ready to settle down yet, but my brother is, and he tells me the same as you.”

Coop helpfully pointed to Blaine again, but Mr. Gorgeous didn’t look his way.

Blaine sank deeper into his sulk, scowling when Mr. Gorgeous urged everyone to head up the fire escape to the roof for the ceremony and then went up the stairs right in front of him, flaunting his endless legs and perfect ass in pants that seemed painted on.

He paid little attention to the ceremony, though he noticed that the man officiating was delectable too, tall, dark and handsome, and with a smile that rivalled Cooper’s in charm and intensity.

After the ceremony, Mr. Gorgeous and a tiny loud brunette went around with sparkling wine and platters of hors d’oeuvres. There was a wide assortment of finger food, all of it delicious, and for dessert a cake that was light and fluffy and so scrumptious that Blaine indulged in it until his stomach hurt, and then he felt disgusted with himself and even grumpier than before. He sat down on the nearest chair, feeling queasy, and hoping that Coop wouldn’t stay too long.

The brides’ first dance was beautiful. Even in the midst of his sulk, he had to admit that. Their faces were radiant, their moves were flawless, and they were perfectly in sync at all times. After the dance was over, they stayed put for another while, holding on to each other and whispering in low voices, punctuating each sentence with a kiss.

It wasn’t until the others joined them on the makeshift dance floor that it dawned on Blaine he had seen hide nor hair of the brides’ parents. Wasn’t it customary to have a father-daughter dance? And where were the drunk uncles and the loud aunts? Come to think of it, Blaine hadn’t seen anyone around from another age bracket than his own. Well, except for Cooper.

Even the officiant looked student-aged. Hmm…

Blaine looked around at the terrace. Tastefully decorated, yes, but it had clearly been done on a shoestring budget.

The food, too, however stellar, had all been clearly home-made, including the wedding cake. The sparkling wine had tasted great, but it had definitely not been champagne.

When he heard police sirens cut through the music for a moment, all his misgivings about the neighborhood came back with a vengeance, and he wondered who on earth would want to get married in a place like that.

It was nice enough for a party, he had to give them that. Lots of room, good acoustics. But it had more of a party vibe than it screamed wedding.

He headed to the table that held the presents from people who hadn’t bought something from the wedding registry, and got even more suspicious. The only decent gift on the table was a set of crystal champagne glasses in a silver bucket, donated by someone who called herself Sugar. The rest was a mishmash of cheap kitchen accessories and low-quality booze. How anyone could think a six-pack of Budweiser constituted a proper wedding gift, Blaine couldn’t fathom.

Nearby stood a tray with wedding favors. Blaine raised his eyebrows at the tulle bags holding a few tea lights. It was elegantly done, yes, calligraphed with the brides’ names and a romantic quotation, but again, they had kept their expenses as low as possible.

If they were all this poor, how on earth had they gotten acquainted with Cooper? The Andersons were an old money family, and Cooper had struck out on his own and become richer still. He hung out with celebrities and other billionaires all the time. When and where would he have met the brides? Did they actually know him at all? Or did they just send the invite to angle for a handsome gift? That was it, wasn’t it? Cooper had been duped into spending a fortune on that stupid pet mansion, or whatever it was! And they probably weren’t even getting married for real, and this was all a sham for Coop’s benefit!

Blaine was livid in Cooper’s stead, and stewed in silence until the brunette bride tapped on the bedazzled pink microphone they were now using for karaoke, shushed everyone and thanked all the guests for coming, and in particular Kurt (pointing to Mr. Gorgeous), who was the best friend anyone had ever had, and who had planned the whole wedding, apparently.

Cooper whooped and clapped, and Blaine couldn’t keep it to himself any longer, so he let it all out.

“Okay, this charade stops NOW! Maybe you fooled Cooper, but I can see right through you. This whole party is as fake as all get out! If it were real, you’d be getting married with your family surrounding you, not with just a handful of friends! If it were real, you’d have chosen an actual wedding venue, instead of this… this dump in the middle of nowhere! If it were real, you’d have had everything handled by professionals, instead of taking advantage of your friend to whip something up on the cheap for you. And all that for what? For that ridiculous pet pavilion that Cooper shelled out good money for? Is that really worth all this deception? You disgust me! You’re awful to take advantage of my brother this way, and I won’t stand for it!”

As soon as Blaine had gotten it all off his chest, he looked at everyone’s shocked faces and felt awful. Had he misjudged? The brides seemed aghast at his accusations, the guests looked at him like he was a train wreck happening, and Kurt… Gorgeous Kurt glared at him as if he wanted to tear Blaine limb from limb.


	4. Called Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snarky Kurt is coming out to play... Ooh, Blaine, you picked the wrong person to anger!

# Chapter 4: Called Out

_“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Kurt was quick to welcome their guest of honor, who’d apparently brought his BROTHER to the wedding -hmm… Did that mean he was single at the moment?

One quick look confirmed that Mr. Anderson was still the handsomest man in all of North America. And if the rumors were true, he dated men as well as women, so Kurt actually stood a chance with him. Therefore, he made sure to mention he was single and very available while bringing him to the brides and officially introducing them.

Kurt adjusted his cravat and checked his coif while Mr. Anderson was congratulating the brides, and then graciously accepted Mr. Anderson’s praise of the decorations as he steered him up the fire escape and towards the circle of chairs they’d set up for the ceremony.

“It’s going to be pretty informal, as you can tell,” Kurt said, “Santana didn’t want to make a big production of it. Wanted nothing stiff or formulaic. That’s just not them.”

Mr. Anderson grinned. “I’ll like it all the better for that.”

Kurt shot him a quick smile and dashed off to Elliott to tell him to start the ceremony, sent Rachel over to Artie for the procession song, warned Tina to start taking pictures and then told bridesmaids Mercedes and Quinn as well as Britt and San to walk to their assigned spot.

As Rachel sang “The First Time I Saw Your Face”, the brides walked into the circle hand in hand and smiling – Brittany widely and Santana tremulously. Tina’s camera shutter clicked at a fierce pace, and Kurt stood there taking it all in for a moment, his throat thick with emotion.

Then he jumped back into action, taking the ring box out of his inside pocket and tying the rings around the necks of Lord and Lady Tubbington. Carrying their basket, he moved to stand next to Elliott.

Brittany and Santana’s vows made Kurt tear up, and by the many sniffles in the audience, he knew he wasn’t the only one affected.

Thankfully, the cats were as good as gold and stayed put throughout the ceremony, and when the right moment came, he held out Lady Tubbington to San for Brittany’s ring and Lord Tubbington to Britt for Santana’s ring.

After taking the ring off of his neck, Britt pulled Lord Tubbington closer and kissed his head.

“Oh, was that supposed to be the groom?” Elliott quipped. “Then we’ll need to start over!”

The terrace rang with laughter, and Lord Tubbington wriggled out of Kurt’s arms and fled. Lady Tubbington followed suit, but seeing as their task was fulfilled, it didn’t matter much.

As soon as Brittany and Santana had shared their first kiss as wives, to loud applause, Kurt gestured to Rachel to follow him to the kitchen, where they arranged champagne glasses on trays and filled them with an excellent spumante Kurt had found in Little Italy. Kurt got out the first batch of hors d’oeuvres, too, and they went around the terrace with their offerings.

Mr. Billionaire Anderson did not seem snobbish in the least, eating Kurt’s finger food with relish and complimenting him on the spumante, even asking to write down its name and where he got it.

When Kurt brought out his masterpiece, a [three-tiered wedding cake](https://www.empirecake.com/_main_site/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/RAINBOW-UNICORN-WEDDING-1.jpg) decorated with rainbows and unicorns, as per Brittany’s request, Mr. Anderson whooped and hollered the loudest of them all, and his moan when he started eating cake made the tips of Kurt’s ears redden. He left only crumbs on his plate, and clamored for seconds, which Kurt hurried to give him, beaming.

Now that everyone was on their second piece of cake, Kurt took a minute to eat something himself. There wasn’t much left of the hors d’oeuvres, but what there was, Kurt decimated in seconds, and he ate one of the marzipan unicorns as dessert.

He took a glass of spumante to wash everything down in style, and surveyed the party with satisfaction. Yes, he had done it once again. The wedding was a resounding success. Now there was only the first dance to go, but that was up to Britt and San themselves.

Kurt made another round to fill up the guests’ glasses again, and then told the brides to get ready for their dance, Mercedes and Artie to sing, and Tina to catch all the magical moments on camera.

“Oh, I LOVE this part!” Rachel whispered loudly in his ear as she wound her arms around his waist.

Kurt kissed the top of her head and hugged her back as they both watched their friends shine in their first dance.

“Look how happy they are,” Rachel sniffled. “Ah, this is amazing!”

“It is,” Kurt agreed. “Worth all the work and then some.”

“True. Though I’m going to dance a bit before I start on clean-up duty.”

“All right, then. Off you go, Miss Berry! But you will help me later!”

Laughing at her grimace, he pushed her towards the dance floor and then picked up the cake tray to wrap up what was left and put it in the fridge.

The party went on, and his friends took turns claiming the microphone for a song, until Santana took it to give a speech, thanking her wife for her promise of forever, thanking the guests for coming to witness their union, and thanking Kurt nicely for all his work organizing the wedding. He sent her an air kiss, and she half-laughed, half-sobbed, overcome with emotion.

He’d just stepped towards San to give her a hug when another voice piped up. Mr. Anderson’s brother. And for some reason, he was LIVID, accusing Britt and San of faking a wedding to swindle his brother out of an expensive gift, seeing as their family wasn’t even there, ranting and raving at the fake brides for taking advantage of his brother that way, and taking advantage of their friend to organize the whole event, too. He dissed all of Kurt’s careful wedding planning and hard work, pronouncing everything too cheap for an actual wedding.

Brittany shrank away from the venom in the guy’s voice, and even Santana seemed tongue-tied for a moment. The rest of Kurt’s friends, who had all been dancing and laughing a minute ago, now stood staring at the younger Mr. Anderson in shocked silence.

Kurt, however, felt his hackles rise. No way was this guy going to ruin everything at the eleventh hour. No way!

He fixed the man with a glare and gritted out, “Way to make snap judgments, Mr. Snob! For your information, Santana’s family is homophobic. As in, they don’t approve of her choice of spouse. They threw her out when she told them she was in love with Brittany, and are still expecting her to come to her senses and marry a man. Santana was crying this morning because her abuela wasn’t going to attend her wedding, so thank you very much for opening that wound again.”

The Andersons’ eyes flitted to Santana, who swallowed with difficulty and looked down. Brittany put her head on Santana’s shoulder and squeezed her hand in sympathy.

“And Brittany’s parents told her only last week that they’re getting a divorce,” Kurt continued. “She was so mad at them that she uninvited them to the wedding. And she’s the only child of two only children, and her grandparents are dead, so no other family. Any more questions?”

Mr. Snob rubbed his hand over his neck, his animosity all but gone. “I guess… I guess I just don’t see why people would tie the knot when they’re only twenty years old. That’s something for when you’re settled, not when you’re barely starting out.”

Kurt chuckled. “Believe me, I told them exactly the same thing when they came to me and asked if I’d plan their wedding. But they said they were sure of each other, and they didn’t want to wait. So I agreed, and made it as fabulous a small, low-budget wedding as I possibly could.”

“You did a wonderful job!” Mr. Anderson boomed, clapping Kurt on the shoulder. “This place looks like a dream, the brides are gorgeous, the ceremony was perfect, the music is lit, and I never had better hors d’oeuvres in my life. And the wedding cake! Beautiful AND scrumptious! If you ever plan a wedding again, do invite me, will you?”

Other guests chimed in with praise for Kurt as well, and soon they were all laughing and chatting and dancing again.

Kurt sent Mr. Anderson a small smile, grateful to him for defusing the tension, and then focused on Mr. Snob again. “Your assessment of me was spot-on, though, bravo. Yes, I’m the pathetic single gay who lives vicariously through his friends. Yes, I’d rather focus on their romance than fail at it myself. So far I’ve planned a wedding for my father and stepmother, for my show choir teacher and the school counselor, and now for Santana and Brittany. Because it made me happy to see them happy. And maybe that makes me a silly romantic, but it’s certainly better than thinking yourself far above anyone and being sarcastic and mean.”

Mr. Snob bit his lip and lowered his eyes for a moment, then looked Kurt straight in the eye and said, “You’re right. I was in a bad mood, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on all of you. I’m sorry.”

Kurt nodded coolly. “Apology accepted.”

Mr. Anderson put his arm around Kurt’s shoulder. “Do you know, I wouldn’t even have cared if this wedding were fake! Blaine can say what he wants, but you throw a damn good party, worth every cent of the gifts we bought! So, I’m serious, any event you’re planning in the future, send me word of it and I’ll be there.”

Kurt smiled wider at him this time. “I promise I will.”

Then he leaned in and whispered into Mr. Anderson’s ear, “And if you want to help things along, encourage Sam to propose to Mercedes. He’s been thinking and talking about it for ages, but he never makes a move. They’re over there, both of them.”

Kurt surreptitiously pointed to Sam and Mercedes so that Mr. Anderson would know whom he was talking about.

Mr. Anderson winked at Kurt and whispered back, “On it!” He sauntered back to the dance floor, bowed for Mercedes and swept her away in a quickstep.

Sam, who’d been dancing with his girlfriend until Mr. Anderson cut in, glared at his perceived rival.

Kurt grinned, and granted Mr. Snob (Blaine, apparently) only the merest glance before turning his back on him and starting to collect empty glasses and plates to take them to the kitchen. The guy was back to looking sullen, but Kurt didn’t give a hoot about that. He could sulk the whole night through, as far as Kurt was concerned.

Only, he didn’t. On his second run to the kitchen, laden with plates and trays, Kurt felt a presence behind him, and suddenly, his load was a lot lighter. Blaine had taken half of the stack and was carrying it to the sink.

“Where’s your dishwasher?” Blaine asked.

Kurt snorted. “None of that here. We wash up by hand. And by that I mean I wash up, nine times out of ten. The girls only help out when I force them to.”

“I’ll help,” Blaine offered.

Kurt quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re a guest. The snooty kind that finds fault with every detail of the wedding I planned. Why on earth would you help me out now?”

Blaine had the grace to blush. “Hey, I said I was sorry. I was out of line, and I’m trying to make up for it. Throw me a bone, would you?”

Kurt stared at him until he started to squirm, and only then did he say, “All right, then. You wash, I’ll dry.”

They worked together in companionable silence, Blaine softly singing to himself as he scrubbed and rinsed. Meanwhile, the party petered out around them, and one by one, Kurt’s friends said their goodbyes and left.

Once the dishes were done, Kurt thanked his helper and offered him another piece of wedding cake as a reward. They sat down on the sofa and ate their cake.

Kurt felt his eyes droop, and hoped he wouldn’t have to stay up much longer. He wanted to lie down and sleep for a week on end.

He woke abruptly, because he got jostled and his head lost its comfortable pillow all of a sudden.

“Uhm, wha?” said a voice very close to him.

Kurt blinked his eyes open and found that he had fallen asleep against Blaine, who had dozed off too, if his slow reaction and slurring speech were any indication.

“You coming, squirt?”

“Don’t call me squirt,” Blaine snapped, rubbing his eyes like a five-year-old.

“Aw, Blainey, why are you still tetchy? You just got to spend some time alone with a gorgeous guy.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Washing the dishes.”

“You know what Nana used to say.”

“Yeah. ‘Share your life with someone you like doing chores with.’”

“And did you like it?”

Blaine blushed and lowered his eyes. Oh, wow, he had beautiful long lashes. In his own way, he was quite as handsome as his brother. While washing the dishes, he’d been singing under his breath, and his voice was lovely. And he’d washed the dishes efficiently and without complaint. Pity he was such a curmudgeon.

Mr. Anderson waggled his eyebrows until Blaine let out a plaintive “Cooooop!!”

“Blaaaaaaaine!!”

“Okay, let’s go before you embarrass me even more. And keep it down, will you. Don’t wake Kurt. He must be exhausted.”

Blaine’s eyes swept from Coop to Kurt, and he visibly started when he saw that Kurt had woken up.

“Too late for that,” Kurt drawled, sitting up. “But I can always go right back to sleep.”

Blaine looked shocked. “You don’t want to move to your bed?”

Kurt shook his head. “Nope. Whenever Britt stays over, she and San get my bed, and I sleep on the sofa. Usually, San sleeps here, but it doesn’t fit two people. When Britt stops touring with Mercedes, San and Britt will look for their own place, but for now, this works.”

Blaine bit his lip. “You know sleeping on a sofa is bad for your back, right?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t know how San has dealt with it for so long. One night here and I’m stiff and aching all over for a week.”

“So why don’t you buy an extra bed? Or at least a decent sofa bed?”

Kurt shrugged. “It’s on the list.”

“What list?”

“The list of things we need to save up for.”

Blaine raised an eyebrow. “Why did you ask for a 25K pet pavilion for your cats as a wedding gift when you can’t even afford decent beds for yourself?”

There he went again, Sir Judgy McJudge-a-Lot! He did have a point, though.

Kurt grimaced. “The cat stuff was all Brittany’s idea. We should never have let her compile the registry. We didn’t notice what kind of silly stuff she’d asked for until after your brother had bought the pet pavilion. It’s a stupid waste of money, I quite agree. If you’d like your money back, you can cancel that gift. Please do. We’ve been feeling awful about it.”

_Wasn’t that the truth…_

Blaine seemed slightly mollified, but still continued his questioning. “Also, if you have no money for something as basic as a bed, where did you get the dough to plan a wedding?”

Kurt flushed. _Rude much?_ “I did a lot of it myself. I also called in a lot of favors, and borrowed stuff. And we all worked extra shifts.”

Blaine nodded, seemingly accepting this explanation. _Insufferable snob!_

“Well, you did a wonderful job!” Mr. Anderson boomed. “I had a splendid time, so thank you very much! And Brittany can keep the pavilion for her lovely cats. Don’t you worry your pretty heads about that!”

Kurt got up from the sofa and shook hands with Mr. Anderson. “Mr. Anderson, thank you for coming.”

“Oh, please call me Cooper. Or Coop for short. I hope to see you again soon for another party. And it’s ME who should thank YOU!”

Kurt smiled at Cooper, and then turned to Blaine. “Thank you for helping with the dishes.”

“It was my pleasure,” Blaine assured him. “And sorry again for my rant earlier. I was wrong.”

His earnestly repentant face made Kurt feel a bit guilty.

The brothers left with a smile and a wave. Kurt pulled at the heavy door to close it and then sank down against it, whispering, “You weren’t, though. You were absolutely right. We did it all for the presents.”


	5. Halloween Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Halloween, Kurt dresses up as Loki, and Blaine as Gaston. Are you drooling yet? You're welcome!

# Chapter 5: Halloween Party

“ _In my opinion, the younger son of an earl can know very little of either. Now seriously, what have you ever known of self-denial and dependence? When have you been prevented by want of money from going wherever you chose, or procuring anything you had a fancy for?_ "

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Not even five minutes after his tirade, Blaine felt like a crushed cockroach.

Without so much as raising his voice, Kurt had torn apart Blaine’s whole reasoning and proved to him that he’d been completely wrong in attacking the brides.

Blaine had ruined the atmosphere and perhaps the entire wedding by throwing a tantrum like a sleep-deprived toddler.

_Well, the sleep deprivation fits… Still, I’m old enough to deal with that issue in a more mature way!_

Cooper, bless him, did his best to smooth things over, but Kurt wasn’t having it, addressing Blaine again and defending his choice to plan a wedding for his friends.

_A silly romantic, is he? Me too. But now he’ll certainly never give me the time of day. Still. I should apologise._

So apologise Blaine did, but Kurt’s eyes flashed in a way that showed he wasn’t forgiven yet. He would need to grovel.

When Cooper put on the charm again and flirted with Kurt, the both of them whispering conspiratorially and winking, Blaine’s heart sank straight into his shoes.

Yeah, Kurt was out of his league. Totally. He didn’t even make a blip on Kurt’s radar.

But he had something to make up for, so he allowed himself only the briefest wallow in self-pity before he went to help Kurt out with clearing the tables and doing the dishes.

Kurt seemed surprised he would stoop to that, and Blaine cursed himself for his outburst. Now Kurt and his friends would think he was a total snob!

There was nothing to do but try to repair the damage, so Blaine washed dishes diligently, humming Frank Sinatra under his breath as he worked and stealing glances at Kurt whenever he dared.

By the time they were done, Kurt had thawed out a little, and offered Blaine another piece of cake as thanks for his help. Well, he was not going to say no to that!

They moved to the sofa with their plate, Blaine praising the cake to the high heavens, and Kurt smiling at him and offering to share the recipe.

Blaine’s cake was soon gone, and he looked towards Kurt to take his plate, too, and bring it to the kitchen.

But Kurt’s cake wasn’t finished. There was still a piece on his fork, and a bigger piece on his plate, which was teetering off his lap, in danger of falling. And Kurt? Kurt was fast asleep, his head lolling to the side and his expression serene.

Blaine smiled at him, and then carefully took away Kurt’s plate and fork.

Kurt snuffled and turned, his arm flinging over Blaine’s belly and his head landing half on Blaine’s arm and half on his chest.

Blaine froze for a moment, and then stretched out his free arm to put the plates and forks on the coffee table. When that was done, he curled his arm protectively around Kurt, to keep him from falling off the sofa if he turned around again, and then just basked in the moment.

With his mouth half open and a thin line of drool making its way down his chin, Kurt was still no less than stunning. And he didn’t only look good, he also smelled divine. His cologne was woodsy, with a slight hint of something sweet. What was it?

Blaine sniffed surreptitiously. Vanilla. Yes. Probably because Kurt had done the baking for the wedding.

Kurt smacked his lips and slid his head a bit further onto Blaine’s pecs, making a soft purring noise that made Blaine melt.

There was no-one in the loft but them at the moment, so Blaine didn’t feel any qualms about letting Kurt sleep all cuddled up to him. What wouldn’t he give to have a man like this for real… To get to sleep with him tucked into his side, or spooning him…

Blaine must have fallen asleep picturing a life with Kurt by his side, because the next thing he knew, his brother was shaking him awake and telling him that it was time to go.

Still half asleep, Blaine griped at Coop, and then remembered he had to be quiet for Kurt, who was asleep next to him.

Too late… He’d already woken him up with his whining. Well, maybe that was a good thing, seeing as Kurt could now move to his bed.

But apparently, Kurt slept on the sofa whenever Santana had Brittany over. Huh? They didn’t have beds for everyone living here? Oh, they were saving up for it?

Blaine frowned, and before he could stop to think, he’d blurted out that it was silly of the newlyweds to ask for an expensive pet pavilion when they didn’t even have basic necessities like a bed.

Kurt seemed suitably chagrined about that, and explained that the idiotic cat stuff had all been Brittany’s idea. He told Coop to cancel the order. “We’ve been feeling awful about that.”

Blaine’s mouth ran away with him again, and he wondered out loud how the newlyweds had been able to afford the wedding.

Kurt looked murder again, and no wonder. Blaine REALLY shouldn’t have said that.

Still, Kurt explained how they had managed. Basically, he’d worked his ass off to give his friends the wedding of their dreams. No wonder he’d fallen asleep just now. He probably hadn’t slept properly in weeks. Blaine envied the brides that they had such a fierce and loyal friend.

Kurt’s eyes flashed when Blaine gave him nothing but a mute nod in reply to his explanation.

_Uh-oh, I’ve messed everything up again. Why couldn’t I have held my tongue?_

Cooper came to the rescue again, assuring Kurt that the wedding had been wonderful in every way, that they weren’t to worry about the gifts he’d bought, and that he hoped to see Kurt again soon for another party.

That coaxed a smile out of Kurt, and thawed him enough to shake hands with Blaine as well.

Blaine took the opportunity to apologise again for behaving like an idiot. Kurt’s impassive expression made him slink off with his tail between his legs.

On the way home, Coop berated him for his rudeness. “Seriously, squirt, what was up with you? I could tell you were totally into Kurt, and then you go and say all the wrong things. He’s going to think you’re a total tool!”

Blaine hunched up and mumbled, “I am. And now I’ve ruined my chances with him forever.”

Coop clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey now, don’t be like that. There’s always next time. Kurt promised to invite me again, didn’t he? And I’ll take you as my plus one, and you will pour on that Anderson charm, and he won’t be able to resist you.”

Blaine heaved a sigh that seemed to come straight from his toes.

Did he want to go to another party where Kurt fawned over Coop and paid no attention to him? Yes, he did. Clearly, he loved torturing himself.

K&B

Two months later, Cooper came bounding into the living room yelling, “Guess what?!”

Blaine, who was working for school, was so startled he dropped a book on his toe. “Ow!”

“Guess what, guess what, guess what?”

Cooper danced around the table like a kid who’d eaten too much candy.

“What? You have a hot date and want me out of the house tonight?”

Coop rolled his eyes. “Nope. Try again.”

“You met another celebrity?”

“Nope. Try again.”

Blaine sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “Coop, I’ve got no time for this. Just tell me outright, please.”

Coop handed Blaine a card. It showed a black cat lying on a large pumpkin, while three witches were stirring in a kettle nearby. The message read:

“ _Something wicked this way comes!_

_Halloween Party at the loft on Friday the 31 st of October, starting at 8 p.m._

_Dress up like a villain and bring your own booze._ ”

Blaine frowned at the invitation. What on earth…?

“It’s from Kurt!” Coop beamed. “He invited us to his Halloween party. Awesome, right? You get to see Kurt again! So figure out a good costume, and make sure you’re on your best behavior this time, okay?”

Blaine felt nerves slam into his gut. Yes, he’d be happy to see Kurt again, but would he manage not to make a fool of himself or offend Kurt at this party? Chances of that were slim.

“I was thinking of Dorian Gray.”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow at Cooper.

“For my costume, squirt, keep up! I get to wear fancy old duds and look handsome, and all I have to do is put a tiny portrait of myself in my inside pocket, where I’m looking all ugly and aged up, and show it to people asking who I’m supposed to be.”

Blaine tilted his head to the side. “That’s brilliant, actually.”

Cooper bowed and doffed an imaginary hat. “Thank you, thank you. I have my moments.”

“So what are you going to take to the party?” Blaine asked.

“What do you mean?”

“As a gift to the host.”

Coop grabbed the invitation and perused it. “It says to bring your own booze. I’ll bring a nice bottle of whiskey or something.”

Blaine shook his head. “That’s just a waste of money. Students drink to get drunk. Fast. They’re going to down big glasses of your top shelf whiskey in one go without so much as tasting it. You’d better give them something useful. Remember how Santana doesn’t have a bed or even a decent sofa bed?”

“Huh. Right. But wouldn’t they have saved up for it by now?”

Blaine shrugged. “I doubt it. There are always emergencies eating up your savings.”

Cooper gave him a quizzical look. “Yes… That’s true. I know that from my early days in LA. But how would you know that, Mr. Silver Spoon? You’ve never lacked for anything a day in your life.”

Blaine felt his cheeks heat up. “Um… I might have… done some research?”

Now Cooper’s gaze became even more piercing. “You’ve got it bad!”

Blaine looked down. Yes. That was always his curse. He fell for someone instantly. Head over heels. No looking back. That hadn’t ever worked out well. People took advantage of him, and then threw him out like yesterday’s garbage. Telling him he was too intense. Too clingy. Too much.

Not that Kurt would ever give him the time of day, regardless. Last time, he’d been civil to Blaine only for Cooper’s sake.

Still, Blaine wanted to help somehow. He felt so ashamed of what his reactions had been at the wedding. It’s easy to criticize, yes, but it’s far more commendable to stay positive and make the best of the situation you were dealt. Kurt was quite right about that, and Blaine admired him for his pluck. Among other things.

“So what do you suggest? That we have a sofa bed delivered the day of the party, when they’re busy getting everything ready? Or that we bring two delivery men carrying a sofa when we go to the party?”

Blaine laughed at that last suggestion, shook his head and looked up at Cooper beseechingly. “We could bring the sofa bed a few days in advance maybe?”

Coop grinned. “So that you would get to see Kurt twice? I’m on to you, mister!”

Blaine didn’t deny that was his intent.

“Okay, I’ll call and ask if we can go drop it off somewhere this week. All right?”

“All right. Look, this [one has a memory foam mattress, and it looks classy](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076BYYHHF/ref=twister_B07DX5DHQ2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1).”

Coop got his credit card, sat down next to Blaine and ordered the sofa bed.

Then he called the RSVP number on the Halloween party invitation.

Kurt must have been waiting to hear from Coop, ‘cause he picked up the phone after only three rings, and seemed happy that Coop and Blaine were coming.

When Cooper told Kurt he’d like to give him a decent sofa bed as a host gift, and could he have it dropped off sometime this week, there was silence on Kurt’s end for a while. Then he said, his voice weirdly strangled, “You don’t need to do this. Really. We didn’t ask you to the party because you’re obscenely rich. We asked you because we enjoy your company.”

Coop grinned. “That’s nice to hear. I’m still giving you the sofa bed, seeing as I already bought it. What would be the best day and time for it to be delivered to the loft?”

Kurt took a while to answer. Then he said, slowly, “Seriously, this is not necessary. All our other friends are just bringing some cheap beer or wine. Or even nothing at all, if I know Puck.”

Coop laughed. “I thought of bringing a nice bottle of whiskey, but Blaine said that I had better give you something useful. Always the practical one, my brother.”

Kurt sighed. “The thing is that I don’t want you spending a lot of money on our behalf!”

“Oh, the sofa bed costs far less than the whiskey I wanted to buy,” Cooper reassured Kurt.

From the new prolonged silence, Blaine inferred that Kurt didn’t find this reassuring in the least.

“So, what day would suit you best?” Cooper pressed.

Kurt laughed. It was short, and didn’t sound amused so much as exasperated. “All right, then. If you insist…”

“I do.”

“Then Wednesday would be the best day. In the afternoon. I don’t have class and my shift at the diner doesn’t start until seven.”

“Wednesday at two p.m. it is. See you then!”

“Um… You’ll… You’ll be there, too?”

Coop grinned. “Of course. I need to make sure they bring you the right stuff, and not something substandard because it’s a delivery to somebody else than me. Got cheated once when I bought my mom a brunch basket for Mother’s Day. Half of the things that were supposed to be in the basket were missing. Thank heavens she took a picture and sent it to me. I fixed that soon enough. Nobody pulls the wool over my eyes!”

“Um… All right then. See you on Wednesday. And… Thank you. This is… Thank you.”

“You’re most welcome. Looking forward to the party. Will there be pumpkin pie? That’s my favourite.”

Kurt laughed again, but this time it sounded happier. “There will be now! I’ll make sure of it. Thanks for the heads-up.”

Cooper rang off with a huge smile on his face. “And he makes pumpkin pie! You better marry that guy, or I will!”

That resulted in a brotherly scuffle, with Blaine telling Coop to “get his own”.

“Just telling you, squirt! Don’t let this one get away!”

“Not planning on it.”

Coop, his hair a mess and his clothes wrinkled now, grinned at Blaine. “You have the ring and the house and the dog and the schools for the children picked out already, don’t you?”

Blaine bit his lip. “Maybe.”

Coop threw his head back and laughed.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Blaine said sourly.

Coop clapped him on the back. “Hey, don’t be like that. I’ll be the best wingman there ever was, I promise.”

Blaine sighed. “I’m sure he wishes YOU would date him. And marry him. The way he fawned over you last time was just…”

“Discouraging?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll talk you up as much as I can. And I’ll mention that I’m a commitment phobe, shall I?”

Blaine poked Coop in the side. “You are NOT. You’ve just had a couple of bad experiences that have made you wary of commitment, that’s all.”

“Aww, you put that so nicely. Instead of saying that I’m an idiot who can’t tell a gold digger from someone who actually likes me for me. Thanks again for helping me dodge that bullet!”

“Anytime.”

K&B

That Wednesday, Blaine knocked at the door of the loft at precisely two p.m. The truck had arrived five minutes earlier, and two burly men had carried the sofa bed upstairs.

Kurt rolled the door open, dressed to the nines in a black sword print shirt with a white vest on top and very tight black jeans.

Blaine smiled at Kurt. “Delivery for Mr. Hummel.”

“Come on in, sir.”

Blaine’s heart sank into his shoes at the formal reply. Clearly, Kurt hadn’t recognized him.

Kurt turned around and gestured to follow him. The ratty sofa they’d napped on at the wedding was gone, and Kurt had cleared the space all around too.

“He doesn’t even remember you from the wedding,” Coop whispered in Blaine’s ear. “That’s bad!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I’m aware.”

The delivery men installed the sofa, and then Blaine showed Kurt how to turn it into a bed.

When Kurt thanked him, still overly formal, Coop came up behind Blaine and threw his arm over Blaine’s shoulder. “My little bro knows his stuff, doesn’t he?”

Kurt smiled. “He does. Do you work in the sofa business?”

Blaine looked at Kurt wide-eyed. “Um… No. I’m a student. NYU. Music composition.”

“Oh, me too. A student, that is. I go to NYADA. I want to be on Broadway.”

Blaine grinned. “Let me guess… As the MC for Cabaret? Evan Hansen? Tony from West Side Story?”

Kurt grimaced. “They’d never give me Tony. In high school, I auditioned for that role and I was laughed away. They said I wasn’t manly enough.”

Blaine tilted his head to the side and gave Kurt a slow once-over. “Are they nuts? You look all man to me.”

Kurt’s cheeks coloured, but a small smile showed that he appreciated Blaine’s comment.

“You do,” Coop chimed in. “Look at your cheekbones. And shoulders. Anytime you want to star in an ad of mine, you just say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

Kurt’s smile widened. “Really? Santana’s done lots of commercials, but she’s gorgeous, of course.”

“So are you,” Blaine assured him. “Absolutely stunning.”

Kurt side-eyed him.

_Uh-oh. Was that too much? Did I put my foot in it again?_

Coop nodded. “You are! Just say the word, and you’re in. I have a jeans campaign coming up you’d be perfect for.”

Kurt went back to beaming, and promised to get in touch with Coop for the campaign.

Coop and Blaine left soon after that, telling Kurt they looked forward to attending the party.

Coop whistled happily as Bill drove them back home, but Blaine didn’t know whether to be sad or elated about his second meeting with Kurt.

Kurt hadn’t recognized him, and had fawned over Cooper again. But on the plus side, he had talked to Blaine. Without any snark or bite. And Blaine would be working on the jeans campaign too, so he’d get to see Kurt again, and hopefully make more of an impression.

Blaine sighed, and resolved to try again on Friday. His costume was all sorted out, and he’d made it as sexy as possible. Operation Charm Kurt Hummel was a-go.

K & B

That Friday night, Coop and Blaine followed the noise again to the loft. The door opened to a colourful chaos. The place was packed with people in all sorts of costumes, and a bass was pounding so loud it gave Blaine an instant headache.

A green witch came to greet them. “Welcome, welcome! As you can see, I’m not Rachel Berry today but Elphaba. *Dramatic sigh* My dream role!”

“I’m sure you’d rock it,” Blaine told her, and she beamed as if he’d just made her day.

“Come! Kurt and Santana are here somewhere, I saw them just now… There! Come with me!”

Rachel tucked Blaine’s and Cooper’s arms under her elbows and tugged them towards her roommates.

“San! Kurt! Look who’s here!”

“I told you, Rach, it’s Malificent today,” Santana drawled, and yes, she wore the horned hat and the cloak with the pointy collar, and very red lipstick. Brittany, on her lap, was dressed as Catwoman, and another pretty girl sitting next to them portrayed Poison Ivy.

“Niiiiice!” said Cooper, giving her a once-over.

Santana rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, now you’re going to ask me what I’m wearing underneath? That’s always the follow-up to ‘Niiice!’ when someone sees my costume.”

Coop threw his head back and laughed. Then he mimed zipping his lips.

Blaine laughed along with his brother, but his chuckle petered out when he took in Kurt. Or should he say Loki? Yep, Kurt was sporting long black locks, a horned helmet and a long Asgardian coat. Its green accents did wonderful things for Kurt’s eyes.

“Who are you supposed to be, anyway?” Santana asked, and Coop got out his Dorian Gray portrait to explain.

She hummed, not very convinced, and then turned to Blaine. “And you are?”

Blaine’s face fell. He’d looked at himself in the mirror before they left and thought his costume was really good and self-explanatory. Wasn’t it?

He looked at Coop uncertainly, and his big brother winked at him and started singing.

“ _Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston_

_Looking so down in the dumps_

_Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston_

_Even when taking your lumps”_

Rachel laughed delightedly and clapped her hands, and Kurt cracked a smile too.

Blaine beamed at Coop. Now this, he could work with!

Together, the two brothers hammed it up, and by the time they’d finished, they’d drawn quite the crowd. Someone had turned down the music, and everyone was singing along with the refrain, and applauded enthusiastically at the end.

“I didn’t know we were doing karaoke at this party of yours, Kurt!” Rachel said. “But I’m all in favour! Let me go fetch my pair of microphones, and we can sing. I’m Elphaba tonight, so we MUST sing For Good. We sound so good together in that song!”

And off she was.

Santana rolled her eyes and mumbled something like, “There we go again!”

Then, she turned to Kurt, holding her hand out with the palm up. “Pay up, Hummel. I said less than an hour, and it hasn’t even been half an hour!”

Kurt sighed, fished out his wallet and gave her ten dollars.

Blaine quirked an eyebrow.

“We took bets on how long it would take for Rachel to suggest karaoke,” Kurt explained. “I thought – well, hoped – she’d at least wait an hour. But then you guys started to sing, and, well…”

He gestured towards Rachel, who hurried towards them holding the two bedazzled pink microphones Blaine recognized from the wedding.

“I asked Sam and Elliott to set up the stage!” she beamed, and sure enough, a tall guy dressed like Jafar and another dressed like Jaws from James Bond were putting together a small wooden stage.

Rachel tugged Kurt up from the sofa. “Come on, Kurt!”

K&B

Hearing Kurt sing was a revelation. Blaine was sure his jaw was hanging open unattractively, but really, you couldn’t spring something like that on him and expect him to keep his cool.

Kurt was a countertenor! He had a fabulous range, and he and Rachel sounded wonderful together. Blaine clapped until his hands were raw when the duet was finished.

Rachel beamed and curtsied, and was about to sing another song when a friend of hers took the mic from her with the admonishment, “Now, now, Rach, we said no hogging the mic, remember? Give everyone their turn!”

It was the most fun Blaine had ever had at a party. Fun people, stellar food, and karaoke! With people who actually sounded good!

He kept thinking that until a girl called Sugar went on stage to perform. As soon as she opened her mouth, the whole audience cringed. Good heavens, what a hideous singing voice! And she seemed to actually expect praise after her performance!

“Well, that was a very good impression of a velociraptor,” Cooper said loudly. “You’ve got that screech down pat. Maybe stick to the human register next time, though? Give our ears a break?”

Sugar gave him a disdainful sniff and stalked off.

Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother, but couldn’t help grinning.

“What? You know I’m right!”

“You are, too!” Santana concurred. “Ugh, she sounds awful. And she didn’t even dress up as a villain!”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow. “She didn’t? I took her to be Regina from Mean Girls. She’s dressed all in pink, isn’t she?”

Santana shrugged. “Sure, let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. And let’s keep her off the stage from now on!”

Everyone concurred with that, and made sure to ply Sugar with drinks and conversation. When it was Blaine’s turn to talk with her, he found that she always said exactly what she thought. Which was that Cooper was so way more handsome than Blaine that she wondered whether Blaine was adopted.

“We’re half-brothers, really. Cooper has another mom,” Blaine explained. The twitting of his looks stung. Yes, Cooper was more striking, everyone said so, but Blaine had been called good-looking by many people too, so there.

“Aah, that makes sense. So when are you gonna make your move? You’ve been panting after Hummel for hours now!”

“Um… I’m sorry, what?”

“Kurt! Why are you here with me and not chatting him up?”

Blaine eyed her uncertainly.

Sugar flapped her hands at him. “Go, go, go! Shoo!!”

So Blaine obediently drew closer to Kurt, and offered him a drink.

They’d just struck up a conversation about the remake of _A Star Is Born_ starring Lady Gaga, of whom Kurt seemed a big fan, when the music was shut off and a nervous throat-clearing made everyone look towards the stage.

“Mercedes, could you come here please?” the guy dressed up as Jaws asked, and when she did, he sank down to one knee and proposed to her.

Blaine snuck a look at Kurt, who was smiling and tearing up. His face was open and soft, and though he was clearly happy for his friends, there were other emotions at play too: envy, wistfulness, and a bare-faced longing that took Blaine’s breath away.

“You know, I don’t think I’d have the confidence to propose to someone dressed like a terrifying villain,” Blaine remarked off-hand. “I’d be too afraid to be turned down flat.”

Kurt laughed. “Yep, he looks a fright with those metal teeth. And Mercedes still said yes. And is kissing him. It must be true love.”

Blaine stuck close to Kurt from then on, determined to cheer him up again. He even managed to dance with him, though not as closely as he would have wanted. Kurt laughed at Blaine’s dorky moves, but Blaine was buzzed enough by now not to care.

When Cooper came and told him they were going home because he had a photo-shoot the following day, Blaine pouted.

“Oh, don’t you use those puppy eyes on me! We’ve already stayed a few hours longer than I intended to, because I saw you were enjoying yourself. But I really want to get some sleep or I’ll mess up the shoot. So say goodbye to your crush and come along, squirt.”

“Never!” Blaine declared grandly.

“All right, then.”

Blaine grinned at his brother stupidly, thinking he’d won himself some time, but then cringed when Coop hollered, “Bye, everyone! Thanks so much for the invite! We had a great time!”

Amid a chorus of byes and see yous, Coop took Blaine by the arm and led him out of the loft and down the stairs, where the town car was already waiting for them at the curb.

They got in fast, Blaine sighing and looking behind him one last time before he closed the car door.

“Well, squirt? When’s the wedding going to be?”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me squirt, please. And hold your horses. I’m working on it, okay?”

“Okay. Just don’t wait too long, or you won’t be pretty anymore. Think of the wedding pictures.”

Blaine’s eyes glazed over as he pictured it in his mind. Hmm, Kurt in a grey or black tuxedo, with a sleek silver waistcoat and a white flower corsage, coming towards Blaine or waiting at the altar for him with a glowing smile on his face.

“Hey! Earth to Blaine!”

Coop waved a hand in front of his face.

“What?” Blaine snapped.

“A little less daydreaming and some more action, please. I got you another chance to see Kurt by booking him for that jeans campaign next week, but it’s up to you to grab that opportunity and turn it into a success. Make sure you don’t blow it. Be on your best behavior, and charm the guy’s pants off!”

Blaine saluted Coop cockily. “Aye, aye, sir! Might be hard with those tight jeans he’ll be wearing, but I’ll try!”

Coop rolled his eyes at his tipsy brother. Then his expression softened. “Your man throws good parties, doesn’t he?”

Blaine nodded, grinning. “The best.”


	6. A True Chameleon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Model!Klaine, so this chapter is my tribute to that trope :-)
> 
> Warning: this chapter might make you hungry if you check out the pictures of the party food.

# Chapter 6: A True Chameleon

_“But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them forever.”_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Kurt looked at the address he’d just written on an envelope and bit his lip.

Would he dare send it or not?

He was veering towards the YES option. After all, Cooper had told him he wanted to be invited to any bash Kurt threw, and Halloween was one of Kurt’s favourite party occasions, so he went all out.

He had a feeling Cooper would appreciate a Kurt Hummel Halloween Extravaganza. Slightly over-the-top and too much seemed to fit the guy to a T.

His mind made up, he shoved the invitation onto the pile and continued writing.

Of course, he had no idea whether Cooper would be able to make it. The guy did a lot of charity work, and in spite of being the CEO of a multimillion dollar firm, he still starred in many ad campaigns, so he had to be fiendishly busy all the time.

But Kurt was in luck. Three days after he’d sent the invitations, he got a call from an unknown number, and for once, it wasn’t a telemarketer but a much more welcome caller.

Cooper! Who promised to come to the party! With his brother in tow again, but hey, maybe the guy would be less grumpy this time around.

But what Cooper said next wiped the grin off Kurt’s face. He planned on buying them a sofa bed as a gift for the party. Yes, he was rich, but that was completely ridiculous and way too much.

Now that Kurt had actually met Cooper and talked with him, he liked the guy. Not because of his looks or his money, but because he was good-natured and personable and interesting to talk to. Plus, it wasn’t just on the surface. Yes, he was full of compliments and a first-class charmer, but more than that, he seemed to go out of his way to help people and cheer them up and devise solutions to all sorts of problems. Another point in his favour was that he wasn’t uppity in the least, unlike his brother.

Because of all that, it didn’t sit right with Kurt to profit off his friendship with Cooper, and he told the man so.

Cooper proved stubborn about it, however, and by the time he rang off, the delivery of the sofa had been planned for that Wednesday, with Cooper overseeing the installation and making sure the delivery men had brought the exact one he ordered.

Kurt took a few minutes to collect himself before he went to the living room to brief Rachel and Santana.

Unlike him, they had no qualms about accepting extravagant gifts from Cooper, and whooped gleefully about the sofa bed.

“And he asked for pumpkin pie, so I’ll add that to the snacks I was planning,” Kurt said. “You can nibble on anything else beforehand, ‘cause I’m making plenty, but don’t you dare touch the pumpkin pie!”

“Oh, are you making those [ghost sugar cookies](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/ghosts-1537818723.jpg?crop=0.685xw:1.00xh;0,0&resize=768:*) again? Britt loves those!”

Kurt nodded. “Yep. The other desserts are a [coffin cake](https://hips.hearstapps.com/wdy.h-cdn.co/assets/17/36/1504885816-wdy100117halloween-023.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.667xh;0,0.0942xh&resize=768:*), [Dracula dentures](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/halloween-snacks-dracula-dentures-1561140536.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.668xh;0,0.222xh&resize=768:*), [blood drip cupcakes](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/halloween-snacks-blood-drip-cupcakes-1561140203.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.705xh;0,0.296xh&resize=768:*) and now pumpkin pie as well.”

“Anything vegan?”

Kurt hummed, thinking fast. “I planned on making [black bean hummus](https://mfa.cachefly.net/chooseveg/images/uploads/2017/10/BlackBeanHummus.jpg), because Elliott loves that. I could also make stuffed mushrooms, those choco bites you like, and your special pumpkin cupcakes, maybe? And a [skeleton](https://hips.hearstapps.com/wdy.h-cdn.co/assets/16/36/1473357331-halloween-guide-skeleton-crudite-1016.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.667xh;0,0.119xh&resize=768:*) crudité with a vegan dip, like last year? Only I’d expect you to actually HELP this time around instead of leaving it all to me.”

Rachel swore to help, glaring at Santana, who made no such promise to Kurt.

“You’ll be making your [graveyard chicken enchilada dip](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/halloween-snacks-graveyard-dip-1561140657.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.667xh;0,0.101xh&resize=768:*) again?” Kurt asked Santana, who nodded lazily, grinning at Rachel, and said, “And [hot pepper mummies](https://hips.hearstapps.com/wdy.h-cdn.co/assets/16/36/1473357202-halloween-guide-pepper-mummies-1016.jpg?crop=0.988xw:0.763xh;0.0119xw,0.121xh&resize=768:*).”

“Good,” said Kurt. “Then with the ghost pizza bites, the [mummy meatballs](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/halloween-snacks-mummy-meatballs-1561142292.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.668xh;0,0.168xh&resize=768:*), the [puff pastry eyeballs](https://hips.hearstapps.com/wdy.h-cdn.co/assets/17/36/1504904297-wdy100117halloween-021.jpg?crop=0.993xw:0.663xh;0.00680xw,0.201xh&resize=768:*) and a [parmesan breadstick spider with lots of extra legs](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/halloween-snacks-saucy-spider-leg-1538604112.jpg?crop=1.00xw:0.667xh;0,0.185xh&resize=768:*), we’re all set.”

Kurt put their old sofa on a second-hand sales website and arranged for it to be picked up on Wednesday at noon.

“You better hope Cooper turns up with that new sofa, or I’ll bunk in your bed tonight!” Santana said before she left for work.

Kurt bit his lip, and hoped that Cooper would be as good as his word.

After the old sofa had been picked up, Kurt cleaned the whole loft and made as much room as he could for the delivery men to maneuver. Then he made himself a quick lunch and ate it.

He didn’t want to sit around doing nothing until Cooper showed up, so he got started on the sugar cookie dough for the Halloween party. He’d just put it in the fridge when he heard knocking.

Quickly, he took off his apron, checked his clothes for flour stains, and then went to open the door.

There stood Cooper, with next to him a cute and smartly dressed curly-head, who was wearing a [bow tie with ducks on it](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61AlkEw7uvL._UX679_.jpg) and announced that Kurt’s delivery was here. His accompanying smile dazzled Kurt, who could muster up no more than a rote answer, and led everyone inside.

Two delivery men installed the sofa, and then left. The cutie with the duck bow tie did not leave with them. He stayed around to explain to Kurt how the mechanism worked to turn the sofa into a bed.

Kurt truly appreciated the cutie running him through it, because it was far from simple, and it might have taken him a while to figure it out by himself, so he made sure to thank him after the explanation.

The cutie didn’t seemed pleased, though. Was he expecting a tip? Oh help, Kurt had been grocery-shopping for the party and had no cash left! Would he dare offer the guy some of Rachel’s vegan choco balls instead of money?

And then Cooper put his arm around the cutie’s shoulder and grinned at Kurt. “My little bro knows his stuff, doesn’t he?”

Kurt took another look at the cutie. Was this the same guy Cooper had brought to the wedding? It couldn’t be, could it? This cutie was all smiles and cheery colours and fun socks and wild curly hair. It had to be another brother than the stiff and starched one with the gelmet that had come to the wedding. Right?

Cooper clearly seemed to expect a response, so Kurt, floundering, asked whether the cutie worked in the sofa business.

It must have sounded as inane as it felt to Kurt. The cutie frowned in confusion and then told Kurt he was studying music at NYU.

_So he’s musical too? Nice!_

Kurt needed no more than that to strike up a conversation about Broadway plays, and had all but forgotten Cooper when he butted in to offer Kurt a modelling gig in his newest ad campaign.

_Wow! But am I handsome enough for that?_

When he voiced his concerns, both brothers were quick to reassure him that he was stunning.

The curly cutie had been flirting rather heavily with Kurt, so him alone, Kurt wouldn’t have believed, but he did believe Cooper, and readily agreed to work for him as a model. The cutie seemed happy about that, telling Kurt he’d be working on the same campaign.

Cooper and the cutie left with twin smiles on their faces and a promise to be there at 8 p.m. on Friday.

“Looking forward to the pumpkin pie already!” Cooper said. “Your cooking is stellar!”

Next to him, the cutie nodded emphatically and echoed “Stellar”, before turning around and following his brother.

Huh? Cooper hadn’t taken any wedding cake home, had he? So how would the cutie know Kurt was a good cook? Did that mean this WAS the same guy who had come to the wedding? What was his name again? Something with a B, right?

Kurt, feeling more puzzled than ever now, watched them go down the stairs, noting absently that the cutie had a lovely backside. Then he roused himself from his fit of abstraction, shrugged and slid the door closed.

It didn’t matter. Whoever it was would be coming to the party on Friday, and Kurt planned on finding out the guy’s name, and whether a churlish disposition or a sunny one was his default.

K&B

The following days were filled with classes and shifts at the diner and lots of cooking and baking whenever he was at home. The fridge and freezer were full to overflowing with snacks and desserts for the party.

Kurt let his roommates try everything, but made sure to keep reminding them that the pumpkin pie was off limits. He’d made two pies, just in case one didn’t turn out right, but both seemed okay, and he was pleased that he could offer Cooper at least something in return for his generosity.

Santana loved sleeping on the new sofa bed, and everyone loved sitting on it to watch television. Kurt had bought a water-resistant cover for the sofa to avoid it getting stained again, and a few cushions in bright colours to liven it up, and he quite liked how the living room looked now.

When Friday evening arrived, the loft was ready for a party. Rachel and Sam had put the decorations up under Kurt’s supervision, Britt had frosted and decorated tons of sugar cookies and cupcakes, Mercedes had helped Kurt with the last of the cooking and baking, and Santana had filled jugs with bright green, orange and red drinks she had mixed. A banner above the jugs invited party-goers to “choose their poison”.

Now Kurt was humming happily as he put his wig and then his helmet on, psyched for the party. Halloween was so much fun!

Half an hour later, the party was in full swing, and Kurt was sitting on the sofa and sipping one of Santana’s very strong drinks when Rachel came their way with Cooper in tow.

Cooper was holding a shiny top hat and wearing an embroidered white waistcoat, a black tailcoat, light grey trousers and high black boots. He looked amazing.

Kurt vaguely heard Santana banter with their guest, but didn’t pay much attention to what either of them said, because Cooper dressed up like that was a sight to see. The man was impossibly handsome.

All of a sudden, Cooper started to sing. Huh? What was going on?

And then it dawned on Kurt that Cooper had brought his brother with him again, who was dressed as Gaston from _The Beauty and the Beast_. They were singing the Gaston song together, and very well, too.

Kurt took in ‘Gaston’. Same stature as the curly cutie, same 1000 Watt smile too. But wow, those biceps! And wow, those thighs! And what a tiny waist he had, emphasized by the belt he wore…

“You’re drooling!” Santana hissed in his ear, and Kurt closed his mouth with a snap and glared at her.

Rachel took the Anderson brothers’ song as an invitation to start the karaoke part of the evening, and Kurt sighed. Another bet lost. He really shouldn’t bet with Santana anymore. She seemed to be psychic.

He forgot all about that, though, as soon as he was on stage singing _For Good_ with Rachel.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Kurt may have drunk a few too many of those strong drinks Santana had mixed, and eaten too few of the mountains of snacks he’d prepared. Whatever it was, it made him wake up the next day with a pounding head and a tongue that felt like sandpaper, and no recollection of the party whatsoever.

He yawned and stretched and walked to the kitchen, where he inspected the remains of the party food in the fridge. Ha, there was still some pumpkin pie left!

He plonked down on a chair next to Santana, who was staring into a mug of coffee as if it held all the secrets of the universe.

“Those drinks of yours were a little too strong,” Kurt said, tucking into the pie.

Santana groaned. “I know. How can you eat when you’re hungover? I can’t even look at food right now!”

Kurt shrugged. “I’m hungry. Hey, did Cooper eat some pumpkin pie yesterday? I can’t remember.”

Santana’s head snapped up. “Of course you can’t! You only had eyes for his brother yesterday.”

Kurt stared at her dumbly.

“Blaine! You spent half of the party dancing with him. No more than that, though. I kept hoping you’d at least make out sloppily, or drag him to your bed, but you kept it PG. Boring.”

So his name was Blaine. Right. And apparently, they’d been dancing?

Kurt heaved a sigh of relief that no more than that had happened. He so didn’t want to have his first time kissing or having sex while he was drunk.

Plus, it would make the modelling gig scheduled for next Wednesday awkward. If he remembered correctly, Blaine had said he’d be working on it too. As the photographer maybe? Or arranging the shoot?

K&B

That Wednesday, when Kurt arrived at the address Cooper had given him, he couldn’t help staring. Somehow, they’d managed to turn an industrial building in NYC into a ranch. There was real grass on the floor. There was a cosy-looking farm house with a two-seater swing on the porch. And the ranch came with cows and calves, as well as horses and their handlers. The noise was deafening, and the chaos overwhelming.

Kurt hoped he could find either Cooper or Blaine soonish, because he felt so much like a fish out of water here in this big warehouse that buzzed with activity.

“Hey Kurt!”

_Wait, I know that voice… That’s Blaine, right? Oh, good!_

Kurt turned around, expecting to see Blaine in a cute vest and bowtie outfit like he’d worn to bring the sofa bed, and his eyes went wide with disbelief. Just how much of a chameleon was Blaine? He’d looked stiff and starched at Brittana’s wedding, cute and adorable while explaining how the sofa bed worked, hot and manly in his Gaston costume (unf, those arms!), but this was yet another side of him. A drop-dead gorgeous and sexy side.

Blaine’s curls were glossy and luscious, styled to frame his face beautifully. He wore a tiny bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner, just enough to make his eyes look really green. His lashes seemed longer and fuller than ever, and his lips the plumpest and most inviting Kurt had seen them yet.

He wore a tightly fitting T-shirt that accentuated his muscular arms, and jeans that hugged his legs in a way that made Kurt’s brain short-circuit.

“Come, let’s get you to our stylist and then to hair and make-up so that we can start shooting,” Blaine said, grabbing Kurt’s hand and tugging him along. “This way. I know a shortcut. This shoot is going to be so awesome. We get to ride a horse, isn’t that great?”

Kurt, still reeling from how sexy Blaine looked and how it affected him, frowned in confusion.

“You’re a model, too?”

It slipped out before Kurt could stop the words, and he hated himself for blurting that out when he saw Blaine’s face fall.

“Not that you’re not… handsome enough or something. I mean, obviously, you are… I just thought you’d be the director or photographer or something… More… in charge, you know? Seeing as you’re Cooper’s brother and all.”

Blaine’s expression became stony, and he dropped Kurt’s hand like it had burned him, leaving Kurt to hurry after him so as not to get lost.

Kurt felt the hair on his arms prickle uncomfortably, and he rambled on. “Ugh, I’m sorry, that came out all wrong. Once I start putting my foot in it, I keep making things worse. So, you’re a model, too. That’s great. Really great.”

“Isn’t it just?” Cooper boomed, appearing out of nowhere and clapping Kurt on the shoulder. “Yes, Blaine often helps me direct, and he’s photographed a few shoots, too. But for this, I needed him to model. I mean, look at how he fills out that pair of jeans!”

Cooper made Blaine turn around so that Kurt could admire his backside, which he did with bad grace, his eyes shooting daggers at his brother. But wow, yes, Cooper had a point there. Kurt had difficulty tearing his eyes away from that delectable view to focus on what Cooper said next.

“Pair that with Blaine’s curls and lashes, and his million-dollar smile – give me the smile, squirt! – and you got one killer combination. Yep, Blaine will definitely be the main poster boy for this campaign.”

Kurt nodded. “I can see why.”

Blaine rolled his eyes and said to a guy rolling a rack of clothes around, “Kyle, this is the new model Cooper selected. Get him the dark wash jeans, a blue shirt and a cowboy hat. Tell Reena to leave his hair as is. She just needs to accentuate his eyes.”

“Maybe give him a bit of a tan?” Cooper suggested, but Blaine shot him another glare and bit at the stylist, “No tan.”

“Gotcha,” said Kyle cheerfully. He looked Kurt up and down, raffled through the clothes on the rack and then thrust a pair of jeans and a shirt into Kurt’s hands. “The hats are still boxed up, hang on…”

Kurt looked at the clothes he’d been given, and turned to Cooper. “So where do I… Is there a changing room?”

A snort came from behind him. He didn’t know whether it had come from Kyle or from Blaine, but it made his cheeks glow with embarrassment.

Cooper shook his head. “Nope, no changing room. You’re supposed to change right here. I promise everyone here is professional and won’t stare.”

Kurt looked down. “All… all right then.”

In his haste to get the jeans and shirt on quickly, he was clumsier than usual, nearly falling face first onto the floor while putting the pants on.

An arm wound around his middle to stop him from face-planting.

“There’s no hurry,” Blaine assured him. “Sam and Puck haven’t even arrived yet.”

Kurt whirled around. “What? Are they modelling today too?”

Blaine grinned and nodded. “You have to admit Sam makes sense as a cowboy. And Cooper liked the look of Puck as well.”

Kurt deflated a little. He’d thought that the fact Cooper chose him for this campaign meant something, but clearly, it didn’t, seeing as Cooper had asked any friend of Kurt’s that fit the profile. So much for being stunning.

As soon as Kurt was dressed and his make-up had been done, Blaine took him to meet the horses and cattle and their handlers.

“We’re going to do a few scenes where we look like we’re herding cattle, then a few on the porch, where we’ll be eating and playing guitar, and then a few at the bar, that’s over there,” Blaine explained.

Soon after, Sam and Puck arrived, and the shoot started.

It should have been plain sailing. When he was eight, Kurt had begged Burt for horse-riding lessons. He’d been the only boy, like in his ballet classes, but he’d loved the lessons nonetheless, and had become quite a proficient rider. The horses used for the shoot were docile, as were the cattle, and keeping them in line should have been a piece of cake.

Somehow, though, Kurt kept hitting snags. When he got on the horse that had been assigned to him, the saddle proved to be loose, sliding off and making Kurt look like he couldn’t even mount a horse properly.

Cursing under his breath, he fastened the saddle, and at the same time, he fixed the stirrup straps, which seemed to have been arranged to fit a child, or a very short man. That would have made him look like an idiot again. Had this been done on purpose?

He put it from his mind, focusing on gently guiding his horse and following Cooper’s instructions. Just when the horse had gotten used to him, something odd happened again.

There was a sudden explosion, deafening and bright, right in front of Kurt. His horse reared and then bolted, racing through the warehouse. Kurt had to use his entire body to steer the panicked animal away from people and cattle and camera equipment, while doing his utmost to calm it and not fall off.

By the time the horse slowed down and quieted, Kurt was exhausted, and his heart was beating out a drum solo.

Blaine helped him off the horse, looking stern.

“I don’t know what happened,” Kurt panted. “Was that a lamp that exploded?”

Blaine’s expression became even grimmer. “I’ll look into it.”

Tears pricked at Kurt’s eyes, and he had to work hard to keep them in. Now he’d probably ruined his chances of ever being in an Anderson ad campaign again – and through no fault of his own!

They picnicked on the porch, and then Sam and Blaine and Puck all started playing the guitar, and everyone sang along, which was fun.

The last scenes were in the bar, and seeing as Cooper offered them real alcohol to drink, it didn’t take Puck long to become obnoxious.

“Some cowboy you are. Can’t get on your horse, can’t keep it under control, and you scatter the cattle instead of herding them. How on earth did you even land this job?”

Kurt gritted his teeth and turned to a couple of guys who were practicing with a lasso as a game. “Can I borrow that for a minute?”

Kurt looked at the empty bottle they’d been aiming at and estimated the distance. Easy peasy.

He threw the lasso, and it landed neatly around the bottle.

The men cheered, and Kurt turned to Puck. “That’s how.”

Sam clapped him on the back, hollering, “That’s my boy!”

Even Puck whistled and said, “Neat!”

The only one who glowered when Kurt caught his eye was Blaine.

And then Kurt remembered that they were filming a scene for a commercial. And what he’d done had certainly NOT been in the script.

_Uh-oh, messed up again! Stupid Puck!_

But Cooper shouted, “Cut! That’s a wrap!” and came to Kurt to congratulate him for ending the story in such a powerful way. “This is just perfect! Well done!”

_Phew! Thank heavens Cooper isn’t such a stick in the mud like his brother…_

K&B

When Kurt saw the commercial on TV a few months later, he smiled. Somehow, Cooper had cut the footage in a way that made Kurt look good instead of clumsy, weaving through the cattle and other horses like he was born to do it, and the scene where he shut up Puck was the icing on the cake. Now that he got to look at it from another point of view, he noticed that Blaine wasn’t glaring at him but at Puck. Probably miffed about something else then, not about Kurt straying from the script. Good.

The check Kurt had gotten for being in the commercial and posing for pictures afterwards had been bigger than he’d expected. He would have no trouble paying his share of the rent for months to come. And Cooper had promised he’d get in touch if he had another commercial Kurt would be perfect for.

Yes, Brittany inviting Cooper to her fake wedding had been one of her more brilliant ideas, to be sure.


	7. Sabotage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, exactly what it says on the tin. Someone's got it out for Kurt and Blaine...

# Chapter 7: Sabotage

_“When I consider,” she added, in a yet more agitated voice, ‘that I might have prevented it! – I who knew what he was.”_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

The morning of the shoot, Blaine was up even earlier than usual, and arrived at the location even before his brother. A good thing, too, seeing as it was pure chaos, and he needed to solve quite a few problems and tell everyone where to set up their stuff and how the décor was supposed to look.

By the time Cooper arrived, the set looked as it should, and Coop nodded approvingly.

“Are Kurt and the others here yet?”

Blaine shook his head. “Still early.”

“Then go make yourself pretty now. Reena’s just arrived. She can do your hair and make-up first.”

When Reena had worked her magic, Blaine wriggled into the tight jeans he’d be wearing for the commercial and then walked around the warehouse helping out where needed while he was waiting for Kurt.

Kurt was supposed to be there at eight, but stepped into the warehouse at a quarter to, gaping at the hustle and bustle and seeming very much out of his depth.

Blaine hastened towards him, and tugged him along to Kyle and Reena, feeling in the best of spirits, especially when he saw Kurt give him a thorough once-over, with a glint in his eye that proved he liked what he saw.

His mood plummeted when Kurt, once again, made it all about Cooper. Ugh.

Kurt seemed to realise he’d said something wrong, but his bumbling apology made matters worse rather than better, and Blaine gritted his teeth and told himself not to lose his temper.

Cooper came to smooth things over, at usual, but Blaine wasn’t in the mood to humour him, and left Kurt in Kyle’s capable hands as soon as he’d told him what Kurt’s look was supposed to be.

He turned back, though, when Kurt hesitantly asked if there were changing rooms, and there was a loud scoff.

_Chandler! Oh, I might have known the little weasel would make trouble… He had better not mess with Kurt!_

Chandler was a new hire, fresh from Parsons. He helped Kyle, mostly, but also assisted Reena if she had too much on her plate.

When he’d first started working for the Anderson firm, in June, he’d followed Cooper around like a yapping dog, forever gushing. Two days later, he’d asked Cooper out, and had seemed miffed when he was let down gently.

After that, Chandler had zeroed in on Blaine as the next best thing, and had started his spiel with him. Blaine wasn’t any more interested than Cooper had been, so he tried as hard as he could to avoid Chandler, and if he couldn’t, he pretended not to hear or not to understand his innuendoes and invitations.

Chandler proved persistent, though, and never gave up, so in the end, Blaine had to tell him plainly that he was wasting his time.

Ever since, Chandler had walked around the sets with a face like thunder, doing as little as he could get away with and slyly instigating fights between models or giving them wrong clothes on purpose. Blaine had started documenting every misstep Chandler made. He wanted the guy out, but Coop refused to fire him without solid proof of misbehavior. “We can’t afford to lose an employee! We’re run off our feet as it is! Also, he’s the kind of guy who’d sue us for firing him, you just know it.”

So Blaine bided his time and built his case bit by bit, without Chandler being the wiser.

Now, the guy seemed to have zeroed in on Kurt. Maybe because Blaine had greeted him with so much enthusiasm?

Whatever the reason, Blaine would watch him like a hawk. No-one would harm Kurt. Not while Blaine was around.

Absently, he stopped Kurt from falling when he tripped over the pants he was putting on, and then sent him to Reena while he helped Kyle unbox the hats. Chandler was supposed to do that, but had disappeared.

It wasn’t until Blaine was introducing Kurt to Mandy and the other handlers that he saw Chandler again, skulking around the horses with a smirk on his face.

Blaine sent him back to Kyle at once, and hoped that the misgivings he felt would prove to be an overreaction.

When he saw the saddle slide off Kurt’s horse when he tried to mount it, he knew that his hunch had been correct. Chandler was targeting him. Sabotaging him.

Blaine maneuvered his own horse closer to Kurt’s, and sighed in relief when the next half hour, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Just as he was lulled into complacency, though, he saw Chandler pop up again in his line of vision, and he was holding… Was that a sparkler? The guy was mad!!

Blaine rode in Chandler’s direction, hoping to wrestle the sparkler from him before it went off.

Too late! Chandler threw it in front of Kurt, and it exploded with a flash and a bang, spooking the horses, especially Kurt’s.

Thankfully, Kurt was a good enough rider to keep the animal under control and to stop it from trampling anything or anyone.

Blaine was livid, though. He signaled to Jason from Security to follow him, and chased Chandler, who was now running away.

Blaine blocked Chandler from leaving the warehouse and had Jason take him into custody until Cooper would deal with him.

Then he had to go back and smile and sing and pretend to have a nice evening out with friends. With the rage that simmered inside of him, it was hard pretending everything was fine, and Blaine found himself slipping towards the end, glaring at Puck when he belittled Kurt.

As soon as Kurt and his friends were gone, Blaine confronted his brother, showing them the footage of Chandler throwing the sparkler. It had all been caught on camera, and was all the proof they needed to get rid of this psychopath.

“Don’t you dare put your head in the sand again! This guy is dangerous, and we need to get rid of him!”

Cooper nodded, his mouth a thin line. “You’re right. Kurt could have been hurt or killed. My future brother-in-law!”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow at his brother, but he seemed completely serious.

“Consider him gone, squirt. I’ll fire him and sue him for damage.”

“What damage? Nothing was destroyed. Kurt is an excellent horseman.”

“We know that. But Chandler doesn’t, and neither will his counsel. We’ll give the money to Kurt, as grievance compensation.”

K&B

It took nine months until they heard from Kurt again.

Blaine had done his utmost to get rid of the crush that would never go anywhere, seeing as Kurt preferred Cooper.

Still, when Coop waved a wedding invitation at him and sing-songed, “Look what your Kurt sent us!”, Blaine felt his heart skip a beat, and he snatched the card out of Cooper’s hands.

“My, my, someone’s eager!”

Blaine paid no attention to his brother’s teasing and focused on the wedding information.

The people getting married this time were Mercedes and Sam. That last name rang a bell. That was the blond cowboy from the jeans commercial, and probably also the Jaws guy that proposed at the Halloween party.

The venue was a church in Ohio.

“Ohio?”

Cooper grinned. “Yep, they’re originally from Ohio, like us. Lima. That’s about two hours from Westerville.”

“You’re going all the way to Ohio to attend a wedding? Of two people you don’t know?”

Coop looked offended. “Hey! I do know them! Just because you’re unsociable and taciturn doesn’t mean I am! They were at Brittany and Santana’s wedding, and then at the Halloween party too. I danced with Mercedes and talked about modelling with Sam. Booked him for several ads, and talked to him at the shoot each time. So there.”

Blaine shrugged. “Okay. Yeah, I’ve talked to Sam too. We’ve done quite a few ad campaigns together by now. He’s into Star Wars, like me. Gave me some great recs for FinnPoe fanfic. He’s nice, I guess. A very laid-back guy. Never makes a fuss about anything.”

“So put it in your Outlook calendar. We’re going to Ohio next month!”

“Yay.”

“You could sound a little more enthusiastic, you know.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, and then jumped up with his arms in the air. “Yaaay!!”

Cooper beamed. “That’s more like it. Any suggestions as to what I should buy them? It’s a pretty boring wedding registry list this time around.”

K&B

Blaine suppressed a sigh and pretended to sip his wine. As soon as the Anderson brothers had arrived home for the weekend, their mother had arranged for the whole family to go out to dinner, and surprise, surprise, when they entered the restaurant, a business partner of their father just happened to be there with his wife and daughters, and invited the Andersons to come sit with them.

Clearly, Pam Anderson hadn’t given up on matchmaking. Not that it would ever work. Cooper was charming, but slithered out of any attempt the girl made to score his phone number or a date. And Blaine, well, he was gay, no matter how deep in denial his parents seemed to be about that. So the girl sitting across from him was out of luck. He did try to be friendly and sociable, though. After all, his mother’s scheming wasn’t the girl’s fault.

His father became more boisterous and talkative after a few glasses of wine. The endless stream of words that came out of his mouth made Blaine despair of ever getting out of there. He’d been working long hours all week, and was exhausted and cranky. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep.

Cooper had bags under his eyes too, but he smiled and talked as if he was having the time of his life. Sometimes, Blaine envied Cooper’s easy manners.

The more exuberant their father got, the more he gesticulated, until at one point, he knocked Blaine’s glass over. It was still full, and the wine soaked and stained Blaine’s shirt and pants.

Blaine grimaced and excused himself from the table. When he turned around the corner, he bumped into someone, and started apologizing until he noticed exactly who it was. Chandler!

“What are you doing here?” he hissed.

“Is anything the matter?” a cool voice said.

Blaine looked at the newcomer, and froze when he saw it was Kurt. Chandler smiled at Kurt and slid his arm through the crook of his elbow. What? Were they dating?

“Nothing’s the matter, sweetie,” Chandler purred, patting Kurt’s arm and smirking at Blaine.

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, and then took in the stains on Blaine’s clothes. “Oh dear, you need to get those stains out stat before they dry in and become even harder to get out. Pour some really hot water on the stains and they should disappear. I hope the restrooms here have hot water on tap.”

Blaine hated that Kurt had to see him like this, and hurried away with a quick “Bye!” thrown over his shoulder.

The restroom, of course, only had cold water, so he had to go back to his table with the stains still there, shivering because his shirt and crotch were so cold and wet.

Cooper took one look at him, got up and announced that he would drive Blaine home, waving off their parents’ protests and glibly excusing himself to their father’s business partner and family.

“Thanks for giving me an out!” Coop said when they were in his rental car. “I was getting bored.”

“Same. Hey, you know who I ran into while going to the bathroom?”

“Kurt, right? I saw him a few tables over, with Sam and Mercedes and their family. Probably the rehearsal dinner.”

Blaine scowled. “Not just him. He was with Chandler, of all people.”

“Chandler? As in the guy I fired and sued?”

“Yep. They seemed pretty cosy.”

“Wait. What? You think they’re dating?”

“Looks like it. Do you think Chandler’s plotting something else? To get back at the lot of us? Should I warn Kurt?”

Cooper whistled long and slow. “It’s possible. But I don’t think Kurt will believe you. It’s your word against Chandler’s, and you’ve been too rash with your accusations before.”

Blaine clenched his jaw. Yes, that was true. But he was scared for Kurt, and anyone else Chandler might target. “Do we still have that private investigator following Chandler around and documenting his every move?”

“Yep. You said to keep tabs on him for at least a year. Because you thought he’d try and retaliate.”

Blaine raked a hand through his curls, and winced when his fingers were instantly coated in hair gel. “I have a really bad feeling about this. I’m going to get in touch with the P.I. to see what Chandler’s been up to lately.”

Coop shrugged. “Go ahead, squirt.”

The phone call to the PI, and the pictures and videos the man e-mailed to him, made Blaine even more uneasy. 

Chandler had moved to Ohio after he’d been fired, and was now living with his parents again. He’d found a job in a wedding dress store, and had done nothing interesting until the day Kurt and his friend had turned up at the store. The PI told Blaine that they’d come out of the store without the woman trying on any dresses, and the video he’d taken showed Kurt looking displeased, and telling his friend that Chandler didn’t have a clue what would look good on her. The rest of the conversation was even more enlightening. Apparently, Kurt had briefly dated Chandler in high school. Was that why Chandler bore him a grudge? Because things hadn’t worked out then? If so, why were they dating again now?

After Kurt and his friend had left the store, Chandler had quit his job, just like that, and had started stalking Kurt, following him around whenever Kurt was in Ohio to help his friends prepare their wedding. Chandler had also orchestrated “chance meetings” with Kurt at all the important places: the bakery for the wedding cake, the flower shop for the church decoration, the venue for the reception and dinner. Not at the church, but the PI had spotted him there, too.

“He’s forever snooping around without making it seem so,” said the PI. “If he weren’t such a fucker, I’d employ him. He’d be good at this job.”

Blaine shuddered at the thought of Chandler as a PI. That would lead to blackmail, for sure.

“He’s been back at the bakery, the flower shop and the restaurant several times. Under several pretexts, and dressed up differently, so as not to be recognized.”

So far, Chandler hadn’t done anything harmful, though. That was the PI’s conclusion.

“I’m sure he’s planning something,” Blaine told him. “And it won’t be pretty. The wedding is tomorrow, so I need you to hang on to Chandler like a barnacle. Maybe contact a colleague so that you can shadow him around the clock. I wouldn’t put it past him to try something tonight.”

“Around the clock? That’ll cost you!”

“I can afford it, trust me.”

“All right, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Call me the minute he steps out of line, understood?”

“Will do.”


	8. Wedding Snags

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big confrontation... And this time around, Kurt is in the wrong.

# Chapter 8: Wedding Snags

“ _When those dances were over, she returned to Charlotte Lucas, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy who took her so much by surprise in his application for her hand, that, without knowing what she did, she accepted him. He walked away again immediately, and she was left to fret over her own want of presence of mind; Charlotte tried to console her:_

_"I dare say you will find him very agreeable."_

_"Heaven forbid! THAT would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom on is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil."_ ”

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

The preparations for Sam and Mercedes’ wedding brought Kurt back to Ohio several times. While dress-shopping with Mercedes, Kurt bumped into Chandler, who now worked at a bridal store, apparently.

“That’s great, that’s great,” Kurt babbled, not really knowing what to say to a sort of ex-boyfriend, even if they’d never had that official status.

Chandler’s expression darkened into a scowl. “Not really great. But it will do. For now.”

“Of course, of course. It’s good to see you again!”

That brought a smile to Chandler’s face again, and he kept up a steady stream of prattle while he flitted around fetching all sorts of wedding dresses for Mercedes to try on.

He didn’t seem to have a good eye, though. The dresses he chose were all wrong for Mercedes’ body type, and too small as well.

Kurt decided not to put Mercedes through the ordeal of putting on outfits that wouldn’t fit her anyway, and invented an emergency at his father’s shop to be able to leave the store at once.

“Is your father okay?” Mercedes asked.

“He’s fine,” Kurt assured her. “I just wanted to get out of that store. The clerk didn’t have a clue what would look good on you.”

“It seemed like… Was it someone you knew?”

Kurt sighed. “Yes. We dated when I was still in high school.”

“Ooooh! How come you never told me about this boyfriend of yours?”

“We were never boyfriends. We just went on two dates, and it never went anywhere. We got along, but there was no spark, you know?”

Mercedes nodded. “Funny that you’ve run into him again now. Maybe this time around, it will work?”

Kurt shrugged. “I doubt it. His fashion sense leaves much to be desired, and his compliments are rather stale.”

Chandler kept turning up like a bad penny, though. They didn’t go to the dress store again, Kurt having decided to design and make Mercedes’ dress himself, but Chandler was at the bakery they went to for taste-testing, because apparently his parents were celebrating their 25th anniversary and were turning it into a big party. He was at the flower shop they ordered the arrangement for the church in, choosing flowers for his parents’ anniversary bash. He was at the restaurant Mercedes had chosen to cater the wedding reception and dinner, vacillating between the fish or meat option, because his mother preferred the one and his father the other.

Each time, he turned to Kurt to help him choose, smiling at him and praising his taste. Kurt’s answering smiles were a little stiff, and he always excused himself as fast as he could.

The night of the rehearsal dinner, Kurt ran into Chandler again at the restaurant. He wasn’t alone this time. Blaine Anderson was with him, of all people, and seemed to have a hissy fit.

Kurt knew what it felt to be on the receiving end of that, and came to Chandler’s rescue, though he didn’t enjoy the liberties Chandler took as a result – taking his arm and calling him pet names.

He saw that Blaine had wine stains on his clothes, and took that to be the reason for his foul mood, so he explained how to get the stains out and advised Blaine to get on with it before they dried in.

Blaine took that to heart and disappeared at a run.

“Phew,” said Chandler.

“What was he angry about?” Kurt asked.

“Me bumping into him,” Chandler said. “We used to date, you see, and then he got tired of me, and he didn’t just dump me, he got his brother to fire me as well. Blackened my character and everything.”

Kurt’s mouth fell open in shock. “Really?”

Chandler nodded, his face grim. “Really. Can’t get a decent job anywhere because of him. So promise me you’ll never date him, no matter how much money he throws at you. Because when he gets bored, he’ll get rid of you, and you’ll be the one picking up the pieces.”

“I think I can safely promise you that,” Kurt said, his lips a thin line. “The way he treated you was horrible!”

Chandler shrugged. “Karma will bite him in the ass one day. Well, I’ll let you get back to the rehearsal dinner. See you around, sweetie!”

Kurt was halfway back to his table when it occurred to him that Chandler had no way of knowing he was here for Sam and Mercedes’ rehearsal dinner. Unless he had been eavesdropping. That was a bit unsettling. He’d wanted to share his piece of juicy gossip about Blaine Anderson with Mercedes straight away, but now decided to wait until they were alone together.

Mercedes had been planning to spend her last night as an unmarried woman with her parents, but during dinner, Kurt and Rachel had been able to convince her to come to the Hudmel house instead, for a sleepover.

While Kurt braided Rachel’s hair, he told them Chandler’s story.

Mercedes pursed her lips. “Are you sure he told you the truth? I mean, Sam has worked with Blaine several times now, and he says he’s such a nice guy. Works harder than anyone else, fixes any problem in a jiffy, treats everyone the same from the lowest intern to the big boss. Sam hasn’t heard a bad word about him from anyone who works with him.”

“Maybe they don’t dare criticize him,” Kurt suggested. “He’s the big boss’s brother, remember?”

Mercedes shrugged.

Rachel let out a giggle. “You’ve had it out for him ever since his rant at the Brittana wedding. And he APOLOGISED for that.”

“Still a dick move,” Kurt grumbled, but he let it drop.

The morning of the wedding dawned cool but bright, and Kurt hummed as he made some last-minute adjustments to the dress. A plate of no-drip, no-stain snacks stood next to him, and at regular intervals, he fed Mercedes a snack and took one for himself, too.

When he had pronounced the dress perfect, Mercedes’ cousin Alma took over, to do the bride’s and the bridesmaids’ hair and make-up, and Kurt slipped into the garden for fresh flowers. Mercedes’ mother was paying a florist to decorate the church, but Kurt had offered to do the bouquets and the boutonnières.

When he arrived back in the living room with the flowers, Mercedes sat on the sofa, looking at her phone and worrying her lower lip.

“Not having seconds thoughts, are you?” Kurt teased her, but if anything, her frown deepened.

“I’d silenced my phone so as not to be disturbed. And now I’ve just looked at it and my mom called me. Five times. And left voice-mails telling me to call back asap. Which I did, but I can’t reach her. What on earth is the matter?”

Kurt patted her arm. “You let ME worry about it, okay? Turn that frown upside down and think of nothing but marrying Sam. Your mom’s at the church, I take it? Checking the flower arrangements and such? I’ll go there at once and handle whatever snag your mom has hit. I promise.”

Mercedes nodded and smiled hesitantly.

“I’ll do the bouquets and boutonnières,” Carole offered.

“And if necessary, I can take them all to church,” Burt promised. “We still have lots of time to get there anyway. You go and deal with the problem, Kurt.”

That was all the encouragement Kurt needed to hurry to the church, where he found Sam in an old T-shirt and jeans with holes in it, scrubbing a swastika from one of the pews, and a teary Mrs. Jones being comforted by Cooper, of all people. When she told Kurt what had upset her, he blanched. Somehow, in less than 24 hours, all their careful planning had been torn to shreds. There had been a fire at the restaurant where the reception and dinner was to take place, so now they had no food nor venue. The church had been broken into and vandalized. Mercedes’ family and friends were cleaning everything up as best they could, but the flower arrangements were destroyed beyond repair. Mike, the best man, had disappeared, and with him the rings. And in front of the church, instead of well-wishers, there were two dozen bigoted idiots who were protesting against the wedding about to take place, because it was a white man marrying a black woman, and it didn’t do to mix races and sully one’s blood.

Kurt rolled his eyes at that. “That’s bogus. We’re all humans. The same race. Colour has nothing to do with it.”

“Yes, that’s all very well to say, but how do we get them to leave?” Mrs. Jones wailed.

Just then, two buses arrived. Out of them stepped about a dozen men clad in riot gear and armed to the teeth. They started herding the protesters onto the buses, and left with them after just a few minutes.

“That’s one problem sorted,” Cooper said cheerfully. “We’ll fix the rest too, don’t you worry about a thing, Mrs. Jones!”

“Flowers,” Kurt said. “I can do the flowers, no problem. It won’t be as grand as what the florist had planned, but it’ll look great nonetheless, I promise. Sam, Cooper, you’ll help once I get back?”

He didn’t wait for an answer but hurried to his car and headed home, where he assured Mercedes everything was under control, except that there had been a mishap with the flowers, and now they needed more. He stripped the garden of its flowers, put them into a few pails of water and ransacked his sewing supplies for ribbons. He also collected all the vases they had.

When he’d found everything he needed, he raced back to the church, and instructed Sam and Cooper to start tying roses to the pews, which thankfully were too sturdy to have been destroyed. They had been graffitied, but Mercedes’ family and friends had gotten most of it off, and had camouflaged the rest with a shimmery gauzy fabric. Silver. Perfect. Carole’s biggest vase was silver too, and Kurt would be using it to decorate the altar.

He carefully compiled a big bouquet for the altar and a few smaller ones to put in front of the lecterns. Then he inspected the arch at the church entrance. The wooden structure was chipped but still sound. The flowers, however, had been viciously shredded.

“Mrs. Jones, is there any more of that silver fabric? I’d put it over the arch and then pin the rest of my flowers onto it.”

Half an hour later, the church looked splendid again.

“What are we going to do about the best man and the rings, though?” he asked Sam.

“We have a back-up guy,” Sam smiled, “and he found us rings, too.”

Kurt hummed thoughtfully. “That leaves the food and a venue for the reception and the dinner. Where are we going to find that at such short notice?”

Sam clapped Kurt on the back. “No worries, man, the minister offered us the use of his garden, which is huge, apparently, and the whole church community is helping out, bringing chairs and tables and string lights and decorations and food and everything else we need. It’s all going to be all right!”

Kurt let out a deep breath and thanked his lucky stars for close-knit communities saving the day.

When Mercedes entered the church a few hours later, looking beyond gorgeous and glowing with happiness, Kurt wiped away a tear and blew her a kiss as she passed him. As he turned around to face the altar, though, he got a nasty shock. He hadn’t been paying much attention to Sam and his groomsmen, but now he saw that the back-up best man was none other than Blaine Anderson.

What on earth was HE doing here? Yes, Kurt had sent the Anderson brothers an invite, but what on earth did Blaine think he was doing, integrating himself into the wedding party?

Right at that moment, Blaine seemed to feel Kurt’s eyes on him. He looked straight at Kurt, nodded and smiled.

Kurt, still outraged at how Blaine had treated Chandler, shot him a glare and looked away to the minister, boiling inside.

He determinedly did not look Blaine’s way again throughout the ceremony, and hurried out of the church to the minister’s garden as soon as it was over.

As promised, the church community had turned the garden into a festive wonderland, and they’d set up an entire buffet of snacks and salads next to two barbecue grills. The wedding cake had arrived, too, and looked pristine and perfect.

“Dibs on this grill!” said a loud voice behind him, and Kurt shook his head with a grin as he saw Burt accept an apron from one of the women who’d be serving the buffet and inspect the contents of the cooler box.

“No red meat for you, Dad!” Kurt reminded him. “Remember what the doctor said!”

“Spoilsport,” Burt grumbled. “Just a teensy piece? Since this is a festive occasion and all?”

Kurt laughed. “All right, then, a teensy piece. I’ll tell Carole to check if it really is teensy!”

Soon, the party was well on its way. Everyone had enjoyed the impromptu barbecue, and now a band had arrived out of nowhere, and all the invitees were singing along and dancing and having a great time.

At Mercedes’ insistence, Kurt was telling her about all the problems they’d had to solve earlier that day, and she gasped and teared up a little.

Kurt was quick to dab the moisture away, “Your mascara, girl!”, and to comfort her. “Everything has turned out fine, hasn’t it? Thank heavens for your church community. They’ve worked wonders here! And everything else was dealt with satisfactorily. Well, except for Blaine Anderson being Sam’s replacement best man. Really? That rude, obnoxious ass? Don’t know why he’s always in a huff about something and throwing tantrums like a toddler or biting people’s noses off, but I’m far from impressed with his attitude. He needs to GROW UP. And seriously, after all that guy did, couldn’t Sam have chosen someone better?”

Someone cleared their throat behind them. They both turned their heads, and Kurt felt his cheeks heat up when he saw that it was Blaine. Had he heard Kurt bad-mouthing him?

“May I have this dance?” Blaine asked with a little bow, holding out his hand to Kurt expectantly.

Taken off guard, Kurt stammered, “Yeah. Sure.”

It was out before Kurt knew it, and there was no way of taking it back, seeing as Blaine took him firmly by the waist and whirled him away at once, beaming as he did so.

“That was a lovely ceremony, wasn’t it?” Blaine said a little later.

“It was,” Kurt agreed. “I’m not religious, but the minister said a lot of things that resonated with me. Yeah. I liked it.”

Blaine smiled at him again, his expression so disarming and charming that Kurt felt short of breath for a moment and had to remind himself of all the reprehensible things Blaine had done so as not to smile back besottedly.

The song changed, but Blaine showed no intention of letting Kurt go, leading him expertly and catching him any time Kurt stumbled over his own feet.

“Mercedes looks gorgeous in that dress,” Blaine said next. “It suits her so well.”

“Thank you. I made it.”

“Well, you’re an absolute wizard with a needle, then.”

Kurt giggled, and then covered his mouth with his hand in horror. Blaine didn’t seem to have noticed, though. He was looking pensive now.

“Why did you glare at me during the ceremony?”

Kurt’s chin went up. “You don’t deserve to be Sam’s best man.”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow. “Did you want that position?”

“What? No! I just mean, after what you did to Britts and San at their wedding, and after the despicable way you’ve treated Chandler, you don’t deserve to be anywhere near Sam, who is sweetness itself and deserves better than a cold-hearted, mean-spirited guy as his best man.”

Blaine had stopped moving now, and let go of Kurt. “Cold-hearted? Mean-spirited? After how _I_ treated Chandler? Don’t you have that the wrong way round? Don’t you know what he did?”

Kurt scoffed. “What did he do to deserve you destroying his chances of ever finding a job again? Bite your dick while he was sucking it?”

Silence fell. Kurt noticed that people were looking at the both of them, and shifted his shoulders uncomfortably.

Blaine’s face was a cold mask now. “I’ve no idea what lies he told you, but you’re wide off the mark. We had good reasons to fire him.”

“Like what?”

“Like that he tried to kill you!”

Blaine turned around and stalked off, leaving behind a gaping Kurt.

_What?!!_


	9. To the Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the most exciting one to write. I hope you enjoy reading it too!

# Chapter 9: To the Rescue

_"His misfortunes!" repeated Darcy contemptuously; "yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed."_

_"And of your infliction," cried Elizabeth with energy. "You have reduced him to his present state of poverty--comparative poverty. You have withheld the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him. You have deprived the best years of his life of that independence which was no less his due than his desert. You have done all this! and yet you can treat the mention of his misfortune with contempt and ridicule."_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

The day of Sam and Mercedes’ wedding, Blaine was woken up at a quarter to four in the morning by the PI, who informed him that Chandler had gone to the restaurant at night, broken in and started a fire. It had all gone too fast for the PI to prevent it or put the fire out without too much damage. “Must have used gasoline or something, the fucker!”

However, the PI did have all the proof needed to convict Chandler for arson, so that was a plus.

“He’s gone somewhere else now. Jack’s following him. I have to stay here until the firefighters arrive.”

“Keep me posted.”

“Will do.”

Not even ten minutes later, the phone rang again, this time around to tell Blaine that Chandler had wreaked havoc at the church. Again, the PI had failed to prevent the damage. He did have proof of Chandler’s misdeeds, though.

_That rat! That fucking bastard! Who the hell does things like that! He’ll pay for this! But first, I need to fix it. I won’t give him the satisfaction of having ruined the wedding. No, sir._

“Enough!” Blaine hissed. “Tell me where he’s heading now!”

“I think he’s going to the bakery. Mulberry Drive 224.”

“The both of you, go there as fast as you can and grab Chandler BEFORE he ruins the wedding cake. I’ll call the police and then I’ll be on my way to Lima, too.”

Before he left his parents’ house, he shook Cooper awake and told him what was happening.

Coop, once he was awake enough to pay attention, swore under his breath, and then took a wad of cash and his credit card out of his wallet and handed all of it to Blaine. “Go and fix this, Blaine. I don’t care how much it will cost. You need to save this wedding. Oh, this is all my fault, I should have used my influence to put Chandler behind bars for what he did to Kurt. The guy’s crazy!”

Blaine shook his head. “This is not your fault. If anything, it’s mine! I should have contacted our PI long before now, and I should have put two and two together.”

“No use arguing now,” Coop said. “Go!! I’ll make your excuses to Mom and Dad, and I’ll come to the church as fast as I can so I can help out, too.”

Shortly after seven in the morning, Blaine was surveying the damage at the church. The minister and his wife were with him, sad and subdued.

“And to think we were worried about ever raising enough money to repair the roof,” the wife whispered, and started crying, her hand over her mouth.

The minister took her in his arms to comfort her, and said, “This looks worse than it is, Doris. Nothing some cleaning and scrubbing and painting won’t fix.”

Blaine took his chance. “Reverend, I’ll pay for everything, also the roof and any other repairs the church might need, if you can help me save the wedding today.”

The minister patted his arm. “No need to bribe us. We love Sam and Mercedes, and of course we’ll do our utmost to get this mess cleaned up in time. I’ll contact everyone I know, and I’m sure they’ll all chip in.”

Blaine grimaced. “It’s not just the church.”

He explained about the restaurant burning down, and saw the minister frown, deep in thought.

Then Doris suggested, “We could use our garden, right, Jim? And the ladies of our congregation could help out with the food. It won’t be much, and it won’t be fancy, but at least it’ll be something. Maybe we could have a barbecue? We can use our grill, and Mr. Rogers will lend us his, too, I’m sure.”

The minister nodded, a slow smile stealing over his face as he squeezed his wife’s hand.

“That sounds wonderful,” Blaine said. “I’ll arrange for meat and fruit and vegetables and so on to be delivered to your house then, ma’am. Also the wedding cake, which is thankfully unharmed. Could you please make me a list of everything you ladies will need?”

He followed the minister to his house, inspected the garden, which was certainly big enough and then some, and helped Doris compile a list of food for the barbecue.

“We’ll also need decorations,” she said hesitantly. “For the church, and for here in the garden. And lights. Crockery and silverware. Tables and chairs too. I could ask the parishioners, but I don’t know…”

“On it,” Blaine promised. “Here’s my cell phone number. If anything else comes to mind, you text or call me, okay? Or if there is any problem, just holler and I’ll fix it for you. All right? That’s kind of my job, problem-solving, and I’ve got all sorts of handy connections.”

She nodded and smiled at him. “Sam and Mercedes must be very good friends of yours for you to go to all this trouble.”

Blaine smiled back. “Sam’s a great guy. And he deserves a perfect wedding.”

From then on, the rest of the morning was a blur of activity. Blaine tackled the decoration issue first, knowing they’d need all the time they could get. Remembering how the loft and terrace had looked at that first wedding Kurt had organized, he searched for a beautiful gauzy fabric to hide any imperfections with, and bought the shop’s entire supply of it. He also stocked up on string lights, table cloths and runners, centerpieces, napkins, china, silverware and glasses, and bought a mountain of food, dozens of champagne and wine bottles and fizzy drinks for the children, as well as cooler boxes and refrigerators to store everything in, and sent it all over to the minister’s along with the wedding cake.

While handing the delivery boy a tip, he got a phone call from Sam, and knew that he had to trust the ladies of the church to organize and carry out the rest of the tasks there, because he couldn’t go back to the church and help. Sam’s predicament sent him in another direction.

Sam was usually so relaxed and zen that Blaine hadn’t immediately recognized the voice on the phone, panicked as it sounded. The gist of the matter was that Sam’s best man had disappeared. He’d been staying with his parents for the weekend, but according to them, he hadn’t returned from the rehearsal dinner they’d had the previous evening. His bed hadn’t been slept in. He also hadn’t called or texted, and his phone went straight to voicemail. His suit was hanging on the wardrobe next to his bed, but the wedding rings were nowhere to be found.

“What am I gonna do?”

“You don’t need to do a thing, Sam,” Blaine assured him. “I’ll handle this. All I need is for you to send me a recent picture of the guy that’s missing. I’ll also need to know his full name and his birth date and what he was wearing last night. Oh, and his telephone number. Maybe we can track his cell phone to find him.”

Blaine hurried to his car, and rummaged in the glove compartment for a pen and a piece of paper so that he could jot everything down.

Sam was silent for a minute. “Wow. You always know what to do, don’t you? All right, it’s Michael Robert Chang Jr., born on the 28th of April 1982. I can’t look up his number on my phone while I’m calling you, so I’ll text you his number later. What was he wearing yesterday? I really can’t remember. I’ll call his mom and get back to you, okay?”

“Just give me her number, that’s faster,” Blaine told him. “Text me both Michael’s number and his mother’s. And a picture, please.”

“Kay. And what do I do about the rings?”

“Easy. Tell me what jeweler the rings are from, and I’ll get you new ones. And I’ll gladly stand in as your best man, unless you’d rather ask someone else.”

“You will?”

“Absolutely.”

“Thanks, man. You’re a lifesaver!”

Blaine jotted down the jeweler’s name and address and rang off. After a short call to Mrs. Chang, he compiled an e-mail with all the information plus the photograph, and sent it to his PI, asking him to track down the missing best man.

He was already buckling in and starting the engine to head to the jeweler’s when his phone rang again.

“Ugh, what now?!” he grumbled, but he accepted the call.

It was the minister, who told Blaine there were protesters in front of the church.

“Protesters?” Blaine asked. “What are they protesting against?”

The minister let out a long sigh. “Mixed marriage.”

“Seriously? In the twenty-first century?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I told them to leave, but they wouldn’t budge.”

“Okay. I’ll sort it out, Reverend, I promise. In the meantime, tell your people to stay away from those nutcases, in case they become aggressive.”

“I will. Thank you so much.”

Blaine tapped with his fingers on his dashboard and groaned in frustration. Chandler, while being led away by the police that morning, had laughed and shouted at him, “Good luck fixing this mess! I’ve got some more surprises in store for you!”

Well, he certainly hoped that this was the last unpleasant surprise.

He called his friend Wes, who worked for his father, the mayor of Westerville, and explained the situation.

“You’re in luck. It’s outside of my dad’s constituency, but our riot control team has a training exercise near Lima today, so I’ll brief them about this situation and send them over, and it can be comped as extra training.”

“I’ll pay for everything. I want this wedding to go off without a hitch.”

“Are you the best man or something?”

“Yes, I am. Thanks, Wes, I knew I could count on you!”

At the jeweler’s, they explained to him that they couldn’t provide him with two replacement rings on such short notice. When Blaine told them that he only needed the order form for the original rings and could head to any other jeweler with that information, they backed down quickly. “Well, we can’t offer you the exact same rings, but we can show you a selection of very similar ones.”

Blaine looked at what they had. For Sam, there would be no problem. His ring was a simple band of white gold, which they had in stock. All that lacked was the inscription. Mercedes’ ring was more intricate, but the rings on offer did resemble the picture on the order form.

Blaine chose the one that looked most like the original, though in platinum and with more diamonds, and whipped out Cooper’s credit card to pay for both rings.

The jeweler looked over the moon, until Blaine insisted on both rings being engraved straight away. “The original inscription, please.”

“But… but… That takes hours!”

“You have until a quarter to three,” Blaine informed him, settling down on the plush sofa in the jeweler’s waiting room. “I’ll wait.”

While he was at the jeweler’s, he checked in with everyone.

He briefed Cooper about Chandler’s misdeeds, and urged him to go to the church asap to see if anything else needed to be arranged. “Already there, bro! I’ll handle things at the church, don’t you worry.”

He asked his PI for updates, and just after noon, he got word that Michael Chang Jr. had been found in Faurot park. Drugged, unresponsive and suffering from hypothermia, but otherwise okay.

Blaine asked for Michael to be brought to the nearest hospital, and called Mrs. Chang to tell her the news.

Then he contacted the minister again to tell him a riot control team was on the way, and to know how the clean-up and decorating was going. The minister sounded a lot happier than last time he heard him. The riot team had already come and taken the protesters away, and everyone from the neighbourhood was helping out. Both the garden and the church were starting to look festive.

“Do you have everything you need?”

“I think we do, yes. Thank you!”

After twiddling his thumbs for a while, it occurred to Blaine that Mercedes and Sam would need music, too, for their first dance and the ensuing party, so he called Thad, who’d started a band after he graduated and was always looking for gigs. Thad and his band mates weren’t yet booked for that day, and agreed to play at the wedding.

“Sure, dude. We’ll be there! What’s the song for the first dance?”

“I’ll give you the groom’s phone number, you can talk through the setlist with him. Best stick to a cappella singing or bring your own power supply, ‘cause the party is in someone’s garden, and we wouldn’t want to cause a blackout.”

“Right.”

“I’ll pay you guys tonight, when you arrive, okay? See you then!”

Finally, the rings were done, and Blaine paid for the engraving and gave the jeweler a hefty tip for doing it so quickly.

The smell of grilling meat hit his nose when he stepped outside, and his stomach growled. He’d forgotten to eat breakfast that morning, and in the meantime it was – he checked his watch – half past two. Also, he still had to shower, shave and do his hair and put on the suit he’d brought for the occasion. Which was at his parents’ house in Westerville. There was no way he’d be able to drive there and get back to Lima on time. But he couldn’t show up unkempt and unshaven either.

_Think, Anderson._

But his energy was depleted, and instead of hurrying to sort this out, too, he sagged against his car and passed a hand over his eyes.

His phone rang, and he grabbed it sluggishly. It was Cooper.

“Hey squirt! If I know you, you’re still out there somewhere in your sweats and with your bedhead, right? Well, seeing as you’re cutting it close, I’ve brought your suit here, and I’ve asked the minister if you could use his bathroom to get ready. Oh, and I’ve ordered pizza. You probably haven’t eaten a bite yet all day.”

Blaine let out a shaky laugh. “Thanks, Coop.”

“No problem. Get here pronto, and there still might be a meat lovers pizza for you.”

Blaine felt much better once he was all spruced up and had some food in his belly. He followed Sam into the church, noting that the protesters were gone and that any trace of the vandalism had been wiped out or camouflaged.

As the bride came down the aisle, everyone sitting in the pews was smiling, so he hoped with all his heart that all the hiccups had been dealt with now, and that the wedding would be smooth sailing.

Wait, did he say everyone? Kurt was looking straight at him, and seemed put out about something.

Blaine inclined his head and smiled hesitantly at his crush, who responded with a fierce glare.

What was that about? Oh… Had Blaine missed a best man cue? He pulled his attention back to the ceremony, but no, the minister was still talking, and all he had to do at the moment was stand there and listen.

He liked the minister’s sermon. He spoke of love not being a feeling but a commitment, something to work on every day. It was no-nonsense and poignant, and the sentiments expressed struck a chord with him.

He couldn’t help stealing a glance at Kurt every now and then. Kurt was wearing a light grey tuxedo, and looking so much like Blaine’s daydreams about them getting married that it made Blaine want to go and kiss him.

The exchanging of the vows and the rings came and went, and Mercedes didn’t seem to have noticed her ring was slightly different from the one she’d chosen.

Still, Blaine didn’t breathe easy until the ceremony was over and everyone was in the minister’s garden, laughing and talking and queuing at the buffet.

There had been no more alt-righters outside the church when they all filed out, the garden looked like a dream and the food smelled amazing, even after that large pizza Blaine had gobbled up earlier. Now he hoped that Thad and his band mates would arrive on time, and then there would be nothing more to worry about.

Thad did turn up, and Blaine bopped his head happily to the music as he worked up the courage to ask Kurt to dance, moving closer to him where he was chatting with the bride.

When he got within hearing distance, he was dismayed to hear that Kurt disapproved of him as the replacement best man. Kurt’s assessment of him stung, but Blaine had to admit that he had a point. Blaine had lost his temper around Kurt on several occasions, and yes, he had been rude.

Determined to make up for past mistakes, Blaine pasted on his most charming smile as he endeavoured to catch Kurt’s attention and then asked him to dance.

Kurt blushed, actually blushed, when he saw Blaine, and his mouth fell open when Blaine held out his hand for him to take.

After Kurt’s diatribe, he’d expected to be turned down flat, but miraculously, Kurt said yes, and moments later, Blaine was in seventh heaven with Kurt in his arms.

He didn’t feel much like talking, wanting to soak up every aspect of this dance so he’d be able to relive it a million times in daydreams. However, he made an effort to be sociable by praising first the ceremony, then the wedding dress, and then Kurt’s prowess, when it turned out Kurt had made the dress himself. Wow, was there anything he couldn’t do?

Kurt let out the cutest giggle at the compliment, and it made Blaine giddy. He was making progress here, wasn’t he? Real progress!

Yet there had been that glare earlier, and Kurt darkly referring to horrible things Blaine had done.

Before he knew it, Blaine had asked what that had been all about, and then wished he’d held his tongue,, because Kurt looked spitting mad again, and brought up the incident at the wedding where they met, and… What? The way Blaine had treated Chandler? Shouldn’t that be the other way round? Chandler was by no means the victim here!

But when Blaine said so, Kurt’s retort made it seem like he thought Blaine and Chandler had been dating at one time. What kind of lies had Chandler been telling him?

_Must not lose my temper… Must not lose my temper…_

Blaine kept his reply short and to the point, and as soon as he’d set Kurt straight, he strode out of the garden before he could blow up entirely.

_Ugh, that little weasel! What on earth did he tell Kurt? And is there no end to his manipulation and sabotage?_

By the time he reached his parents’ house, he was a little bit calmer, and had decided to send Kurt an e-mail with the cold hard facts and the evidence. Heaven knew there was enough of it by now. And then Kurt could decide whom he wanted to believe.

It rankled how Kurt was so ready to believe the worst of Blaine and the best of Chandler. But at least on that count, Blaine had the truth on his side. The rant at the wedding, however, had been entirely Blaine’s fault, and he’d apologise for that once more. And he would strive to conquer his temper. He would.

An hour and a half later, he re-read what he’d written, checked the attachments, and then logged into Cooper’s work mail account to find Kurt’s e-mail address. It wasn’t stalking, okay? It wasn’t. Blaine didn’t plan on writing to Kurt ever again, but he deserved to know the truth. And Blaine deserved… closure.

After this, he’d stay away from Kurt. He was determined not to seek him out again. He’d leave the initiative up to Kurt.

_Yeah, tell that to someone who’ll believe you…_


	10. The Hamptons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't mind gratuitous nudity, do you? Not at all? All right then, carry on and enjoy :-)

# Chapter 10: The Hamptons

_“It is difficult indeed – it is distressing. One does not know what to think.”_

_“I beg your pardon – one knows exactly what to think.”_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Kurt watched Blaine go with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he had somehow messed up. Big time.

But… But… Try to kill him? Chandler? The very thought was ridiculous. Chandler was harmless! He might come on a bit too strong and make Kurt feel uncomfortable, but that was the worst he was capable of, right? Right?

His thoughts whirling, Kurt sank down onto the nearest chair and stared blankly at the table. He felt someone sit down next to him, and looked up. It was Cooper, and he looked uncharacteristically serious.

“My brother may be rude sometimes, and loses his temper a lot, but he never lies.”

Kurt stared at Cooper, and when the man seemed like he expected a reaction to his statement, nodded mutely.

“What did Chandler tell you about Blaine? It must have been bad, or you wouldn’t have dressed him down like that.”

Kurt told Cooper, who let out a long low whistle. “Well, no wonder you reamed him out. It’s not true, though. They never dated. Not for a lack of trying on Chandler’s part, but Blaine turned him down. And Chandler didn’t take the rejection well. I didn’t cotton on until the incident at the jeans ad, but Blaine mentioned it before. How Chandler would cause quarrels on set and make deliberate mistakes to make us look bad.”

Kurt frowned. “What incident at the jeans ad?”

“Remember that bang and flash?”

“Vividly.”

“Turns out that was Chandler, throwing a sparkler at your horse to scare it. Thank heavens you’re a good horseman, or you might have broken your neck.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. And all these problems at the wedding today? Chandler had a hand in that, too. He seems to hate you even more than he hates Blaine and me.”

Kurt’s eyes widened. “What? But it wasn’t even my wedding! Why would he ruin such a special day for people who are strangers to him?”

“Because he knew it meant a lot to you.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t like Blaine much, do you? Not even before Chandler’s smear campaign.”

Kurt’s eyes flashed. “He dissed all that I did for Brittana’s wedding. Called it cheap. And then when we shot the jeans ad, he kept snapping and glaring at people. What’s there to like?”

Cooper hummed. “You like dancing with him well enough. Both now and at the Halloween party. You guys had a great time back then. I really thought you’d become an item.”

Kurt stared at him in utter bewilderment. “What? And uhm, I don’t remember a thing about that party. I got way too drunk, and it wiped my memory.”

Cooper’s eyes pierced right through him. “I see. Are you drunk now, too?”

“No. And you’re right, I like dancing with Blaine. He’s good at it.”

“But you’re not interested?”

Kurt frowned at Cooper’s insistence. “I…”

“Never mind. I’m going to head out, I’ve got an early flight tomorrow. And Kurt… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… Maybe it’s for the best if you stop inviting me to the weddings you plan. Blaine will bounce back from this, I’m sure, but he’ll need some time. Well, I’d better go say goodbye to the newlyweds. See you around!”

Long after Cooper had left, Kurt stayed frozen in his seat.

_What was that all about? And did I misjudge Blaine so much?_

He got his answer to that last question when he checked his mail on his laptop the next morning.

There it was, a long e-mail from Blaine, with pictures and videos attached. Kurt read the whole thing, then read it again, and then checked out the attachments.

When Burt came downstairs looking for coffee, he found his son watching a video, over and over, looking like he could throw up at any moment.

“What’s wrong, bud?”

Kurt shoved the laptop in Burt’s direction and pressed Play again.

Burt cursed when he saw Chandler throw the sparkler. “Who’s that? And why would he do such a thing?”

Kurt closed the video window and showed Burt the e-mail. “Read it. I don’t mind.”

Burt read mostly in silence, mumbling under his breath every now and then. Then he shot his son a piercing glance. “So you and this Chandler kid are dating? Better break up with him right this instant, if that’s how he treats you!”

“No! We’re not! I don’t know why Blaine would think that!”

A memory of Chandler taking his arm at the restaurant and calling him sweetie flashed through his mind. Oh. Yep. That would be why.

“I knew him way back in high school. We met at the music store. We tried to date, back then, but it didn’t work out. No spark.”

“Says you, or says him?”

Kurt shrugged. “Mostly me, I guess.”

“So this kid still bears you a grudge for dumping him?”

Kurt spluttered. “Dump… I didn’t dump anyone! We were never in a relationship. We just went out together twice, and that was it!”

“To you, maybe. Seems like this Chandler kid thinks differently.”

Kurt shuddered. “He always seemed so sweet. I’m scared, Dad! This is just… Creepy beyond belief.”

“This says he’s behind bars. Will be for quite some time, if they can pin everything on him. And with the evidence they got, that should be easy.”

Kurt nodded and swallowed with difficulty.

“Seems like you have an apology to make. I’ll leave you to it, bud.”

Burt filled two mugs with coffee and went upstairs again.

He was right. Kurt owed Blaine an apology. And a rather big one, too. He’d wrongly accused Blaine of abusing his power. In front of all those people.

Kurt groaned. How could he ever make things right again?

In the end, he managed to compose a short answer to the mail. His apology sounded stiff and overly formal, but he guessed it was better than nothing.

Before heading back to New York, he met up with Mercedes one more time, at the Lima Bean, and by the end of their conversation, he felt even worse.

Not only had Blaine never done what Chandler accused him of, but he’d also single-handedly saved Sam and Mercedes’ wedding. He’d stopped Chandler from destroying the wedding cake, he’d found Mike and had him brought to the hospital, he’d gone and bought new wedding rings and even had them engraved, he’d bought everything for the barbecue, and he’d sent a riot control team to get rid of the protesters at the church. He’d even paid for a band to perform the song for the first dance and provide music for the rest of the evening. Wow. And how had Kurt thanked him? By telling him he was horrible.

Kurt thunked his head against the table a few times, and Mercedes giggled.

“Aww, he’ll forgive you.”

“His brother won’t. Told me to stay away from him from now on.”

“Ouch.”

He wished Mercedes a happy honeymoon and went back to the Hudmel residence to pack up and go home.

Back in New York, he felt restless, full of a jittery energy that he could not get rid of however much he cooked, baked, cleaned, worked out, or did any other activity he thought might help.

After a few weeks, Rachel was so fed up with him waking her up in the middle of the night with noises from the kitchen that she booked them a house in the Hamptons for the weekend. “At least there, you can go swimming any time you feel like you’re jumping out of your skin. I’ll invite the others as well. There’s plenty of room, and the weather’s so nice.”

Accordingly, that Friday, Kurt was sitting in a gorgeous garden, chatting with Rachel and Dani and Elliott and sipping a cold drink.

It soon led to them singing and dancing. The houses next to theirs seemed deserted, so they could be as silly and as loud as they liked. Dani spilled her drink on her dress, though, and Rachel went inside with her to help with getting the stains out.

Elliott excused himself to call his boyfriend, who’d be arriving later, after work, and left Kurt alone in the garden.

He hummed to himself as he admired and smelled the roses growing on the gazebo, and then looked up sharply when he heard a noise from next door.

He saw the glass door of the veranda slide open, and out came an Adonis, completely in the nude, who sauntered towards the parapet and leaned on it to take in the view, providing quite a spectacular one of his own.

Kurt had to remind himself not to swallow his tongue, because wow, what a sight!

The guy wasn’t overly tall, but his body was nicely toned, and his ass was such a perfect specimen that it made Kurt whimper and his dick twitch.

Naked Adonis snapped on a pair of swimming goggles and dove into the swimming pool.

That broke the spell, and Kurt stopped gaping at the naked stranger and gulped in a breath of fresh air.

_Oh wow. Clearly, the Hamptons are where it’s at. I’ve been missing out._

He walked toward the house to get inside before anyone caught him perving, but froze when Elliott’s head appeared from behind the screen door, yelling, “Kurt, did you want to cook tonight or do we order take-out?”

“I want Indian,” came Rachel’s voice from within the house. “Vegetable samosas please.”

“Lamb curry for me,” added Dani.

Kurt laughed. “Looks like the girls have decided. Indian it is.”

Elliott gave him a thumbs-up and headed back inside, his voice trailing off as he said, “Okay. Honey, could you go to Ganesh and pick up some take-out before you come here?”

Kurt shook his head and chuckled to himself. Mark was the only one of them who’d been working all day, and now he’d have to pick up the food as well?

“Kurt?” said a voice behind him.

_Uh-oh. I know that voice._

And yes, when he turned around, he saw that the Naked Adonis, now with a towel around his hips and so close that Kurt could see drops of water slowly making their way down his chest, was none other than Blaine Anderson.

_Awkward!_

Instead of looking Blaine straight in the eye, Kurt chose to focus on a water drop on his shoulder, and at once felt the insane urge to lick it off. His dick throbbed in his shorts.

_No, no, no, down, boy! Focus on his face!_

But Blaine’s wet curls and lashes were turning Kurt on just as much as the rest of his body, and his smile made Kurt’s stomach swoop.

“Hi!” squeaked Kurt.

“Good to see you! I didn’t know we were neighbours!”

Kurt laughed. “Oh, we’re not. We’re renting this place for the weekend.”

“Who’s we?”

Just at that moment, the screen door banged again, and Elliott’s voice floated towards them. “Did you say anything, Kurt? Oh… Who’s this?”

Blaine’s smile dimmed a little, but he stayed perfectly amiable as he shook Elliott’s hand.

“I’m Elliott.”

Blaine nodded. “You were the officiant at Brittany and Santana’s wedding, weren’t you? I’m Blaine, nice to officially meet you.”

He proceeded to chat with Elliott for a while, and they discovered that they were both studying at NYU and that they had a few classes and even a friend in common.

It wasn’t until Blaine’s stomach growled that he laughed and announced he’d better go inside and make himself something to eat.

“Hey, you should stay and have dinner with us!” Elliott offered. “We’re having take-out, and there’s always plenty to go around, ‘cause we plan on leftovers.”

Blaine’s eyes widened, and he started babbling about not wanting to intrude.

“Nah, don’t worry about that, man! The more the merrier! Right, Kurt?”

Kurt nodded. “Sure, join us!”

“Oh, okay, then,” said Blaine. “That sounds great. My brother has a date this evening, so I’d be on my own otherwise. Thanks for the invite.”

“Hey, do you sing?” Elliott asked. “I brought my guitar ‘cause we planned on practicing for our gig after dinner.”

That made Blaine beam ear to ear. “I love to sing! I’ll go fetch my guitar, too.”

“And maybe put some clothes on,” Kurt muttered under his breath.

Blaine gave him a cheeky wink before turning around and walking to his house. Before he reached the glass door, the towel slipped, exposing Blaine’s butt again in all its glory.

Kurt told himself to look away, but his eyes stayed glued to the vision in front of him, and he felt his shorts tighten again.

“I see you stayed in the garden for the lovely view,” Elliott remarked drily.

Kurt’s cheeks glowed, but he didn’t rise to the bait.

“Wasn’t that the rude brother of that billionaire? Changed his tune, hasn’t he?”

Kurt shushed him. “Hush! He’ll hear you!”

“I’m just saying. I thought you hated the guy.”

Kurt shrugged. “He’s all right, really.”

“And hot.” Elliott whistled long and low. “You should hit that, Hummel. I’m betting he gave you a sneak peek ‘cause he wants in your pants.”

Kurt nudged Elliott with his hip, muttering “Shut up!!”

“Admit it, Hummel, you want to tap that sweet booty!”

Kurt opened his mouth and then shut it again without saying a word, choosing to go inside and find the girls. Elliott’s laughter followed him in.

An hour later, he heard someone tapping on the screen door, and hastened to open it and welcome Blaine. “Come on in, we’re all in the living room.”

Introductions were in order, seeing as Mark had arrived in the meantime, and he and Dani had never met Blaine before.

As before in the garden, Blaine was polite and charming, and soon had everyone talking and laughing and generally having a good time.

Kurt looked on in amazement. Was this the rude and surly guy he knew, or had an alien taken over his body?

Mark put the bags of Indian food on the dining table. “Dig in!”

There was a rush to the cutlery drawer, and then everyone stuck their noses in the food boxes and picked their favourite, munching away happily.

Blaine, to Kurt’s astonishment, didn’t raise his eyebrows at them eating straight out of the boxes. He did like the others, laughing as he ceded the vegetable samosas to Rachel and took the spicy chicken ones instead, and taking such a big bite that the sauce he’d dipped the samosa in dripped down his chin.

Kurt handed him a paper towel and got a big grin in thanks.

_Yep. Definitely an alien._

Later that evening, they sang together. They practiced the songs for Pamela Lansbury’s gig first, Blaine clapping enthusiastically after every song. Then Elliott and Blaine jammed together for a bit, coming up with a new song about a glitter vampire. It was silly, and Kurt found himself giggling along with the girls, until Elliott told him it was now his turn to sing.

Put on the spot like that, he didn’t know what song to pick, and in the end, he decided to go with “I Have Nothing”.

He got a nice hand of applause, except from Blaine, who stared at him in wordless wonderment for a minute or two. Then a smile slowly unfurled on his face. “That was pure magic. You gave me chills.”

“Thanks. You’re up next,” said Kurt, and answered Rachel’s griping with, “Because I say so. We’ve heard you sing a million times. We haven’t heard Blaine.”

“Yes, we have!”

Kurt shot Rachel a glare that silenced her at once. “Mr. Anderson, the floor is yours.”

Blaine fiddled with his guitar for a bit, took a deep breath, and then started to sing. He’d chosen a familiar tune, the musical equivalent of pink bubble gum, but somehow it got a deeper meaning as Blaine put his whole heart and soul into his performance.

Blaine seemed to sing straight to Kurt, his eyes never wavering. When he sang “My heart stops when you look at me”, it was Kurt’s heart that skipped a beat, and by the end of the song, Kurt’s cheeks ached from smiling so hard, and he clapped until his hands hurt.

He didn’t pay much attention to anyone singing after that, gravitating towards Blaine as a matter of course and talking the rest of the night away.

In the morning, he woke up feeling sweltering hot. He wanted to throw his blankets off, but they wouldn’t budge. Frowning, he opened his eyes, and as soon as they’d adapted to the morning light, he saw that there was someone sleeping on top of him, and holding onto him like a koala.

It was Blaine, his face relaxed and young in his sleep and his eyelashes impossibly long. His hair was wild. One of his curls touched the tip of his nose every time he breathed in, and it made him wrinkle his nose in the cutest way.

Kurt carefully swept the curl away, and winced when that movement made his muscles protest.

_Ugh, I fell asleep on the sofa again! My back and my neck are going to hate me for the rest of the week…_

He tried to extricate himself from under Blaine without waking him up, but failed. Blaine’s eyes fluttered open, and he made a noise that was a protest and a question all in one.

“Sorry, I need to go pee,” Kurt whispered. “Go back to sleep, it’s early.”

Kurt stood up and stretched, his joints popping and cracking all over the place. He found a blanket on the floor, where it must have fallen off of them, and tucked Blaine in.

Blaine pouted and made grabby hands. “Come back, please?”

Kurt found himself smiling as he tiptoed to the nearest bathroom.

When he came back, he saw that Blaine had fallen asleep again, so he shrugged and headed to the kitchen. He’d promised Rachel to make cinnamon rolls for breakfast, so he’d better get started on that. And maybe a fruit salad?

The smell of baked goods spreading through the house woke everyone faster than Kurt would have believed possible, and the first batch of rolls were grabbed and devoured before he could even apply the glaze.

“These are so good,” Mark said with his mouth full, and Blaine moaned in assent and helped himself to another.

“Give it to me, there’s no glaze on it yet,” Kurt ordered, and quickly slathered the roll in glaze.

Blaine took a big bite. His eyes widened as he chewed, and the moan that came out of his mouth was positively pornographic.

Kurt felt the tips of his ears redden, but laughed it off with, “Even better with the glaze, right?”

“Best breakfast EVER,” Blaine told him, and then put his hands together and implored, “Marry me, Kurt.”

Everyone laughed.

Mark eyed both of them and then casually asked, “So… The two of you…”

“Fell asleep on the sofa, yes,” Kurt sighed. “I don’t think my neck will ever forgive me. Next time, please wake me up and tell me to go to bed.”

He took a cinnamon roll for himself and bit off a piece, not noticing Blaine’s crestfallen expression nor the meaningful glances Elliott and Mark exchanged.

“I should get going,” Blaine said softly, and stood up. “I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

Kurt looked up from his breakfast and frowned. “No, you haven’t. Seriously. We’ve got people staying over at our place all the time. Don’t worry about it. And sit back down, you haven’t had any fruit salad yet. Or coffee. How will you be able to function for the rest of the day without coffee?”

Blaine laughed, but it sounded a bit off. “No, I should go. Coop might be worried if he comes home and can’t find me. I never let him know I was going somewhere.”

Kurt’s frown deepened. “Okay. Take some rolls home with you, we’ve got plenty.”

He quickly filled a plastic container with rolls and handed it to Blaine.

“Thank you. And thanks for inviting me.”

Kurt smiled at Blaine. “We loved having you. Come over again tonight if you’re still here.”

Blaine hesitated. “I don’t know… My brother…”

“He’s welcome here too if he’s got no other plans,” Kurt offered.

“I… I’ll pass on the message. Bye, everyone!”

“Bye, Blaine!” everyone chorused.

Kurt sat back down and continued eating. It wasn’t until he started stacking plates to bring them to the sink that he noticed Blaine’s second roll was still on his plate. He’d only eaten one bite of it. “Weird that he left all of a sudden, without even finishing his roll.”

“Are you really that dense or do I have to spell it out for you?” Mark asked, taking a few mugs to the sink and opening the dishwasher.

“What?”

“Blaine likes you. Like-likes you. But you keep blowing hot and cold. Elliott says you were totally eye-fucking him in the garden, and then when he talked to Elliott, you were all frosty. Then last night, you were all over him after he sang to you, and you two slept together, and now at breakfast, you behave like nothing ever happened!”

Kurt spluttered. “Because nothing happened! We just talked. And then fell asleep. Why do you make it sound like I had sex with him? I didn’t. We didn’t even kiss. Nothing like that.”

“But Blaine sure wanted to.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “You’ve watched too many Hallmark movies.”

“Anyone can see how much he’s into you. The guy has hearts in his eyes whenever he looks at you. He SERENADED you, for crying out loud.”

Kurt smiled at the memory.

“And there you go again, smiling dopily like you’re all gone on him too. No wonder he gets his hopes up time and again. If you’re not interested, tell him so, okay?”

Mark’s vehemence startled Kurt, who held up his hands in a defensive gesture and looked at his friend warily.

Mark sighed. “Sorry. It’s just… I’ve been there. Not a fun place to be. So… Think about what I said, and do the right thing.”

Mark patted Kurt on the back and walked away.

Kurt filled the dishwasher on autopilot, thinking hard. He’d disliked Blaine so much and for so long, but actually, he’d proved to be a decent guy. Plus, he was a great singer and dancer, could talk about fashion or Broadway or classic movies for hours, and was ever so handsome and charming. Yes, if Kurt let himself, he could fall head over heels for Blaine. For sure.

Why was Kurt holding back? Because he felt ashamed that he’d assumed all sorts of wrong things about Blaine? Well, then, maybe it was time he apologized in person, and let bygones be bygones. But would he get the chance to do so?

That afternoon, he found out he would. Cooper came over to invite all of them to dinner, all charm and smiles, and joined them for cocktails in the garden.

Next door, Blaine was diving and swimming again, this time around wearing a pink speedo, and Kurt excused himself and went inside before his boner became too visible. He whipped up a [summer fruit pavlova](https://img.delicious.com.au/f08RpLRr/w759-h506-cfill/del/2017/12/summer-fruit-pavlova-60742-2.jpg) to take to the Anderson’s summer house that evening, and then spent the rest of the time before dinner deciding what outfit to wear.

It was with some trepidation that he entered the house, letting his friends go first. He needn’t have worried about being unwelcome, though. Cooper seemed to have forgotten he wanted Kurt to stay away from his brother, and Blaine seemed happy to see Kurt, and impressed with the pavlova.

Dinner proved to be fancy barbecue, with Blaine grilling everything from rosemary and pepper steak, chili-spiced prawns, glazed pork belly to stuffed salmon and lobster with a lemon and butter sauce. Rachel wasn’t forgotten, by any means. For her, he provided halloumi burgers, corn cobs, sweet potatoes, peppers and aubergines, as well as a peach mozzarella salad. Everyone ate until they were stuffed, and Kurt praised himself lucky he’d brought a light dessert, or no-one would even have tried it.

Afterwards, they all played Pictionary, laughing their heads off at the others’ questionable drawing talents.

When Rachel started clamouring for karaoke, Blaine took a seat next to Kurt, and whispered, “Will you sing for us again?”

Kurt swallowed and whispered, “Maybe later. Blaine, can I talk to you for a minute?”

They walked into the garden together, and Kurt apologized as best he could, though Blaine insisted it wasn’t necessary. “I said some pretty harsh things too. Now we’re quits. And from now on, we’ll try not to judge too fast. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Inside the house, Rachel started to sing a duet with Cooper, “Hold Me”.

Blaine’s eyes were pools of liquid light as he held out his hand to Kurt. “May I have this dance?”

Kurt laughed and took Blaine’s hand, letting himself be swept away. It was all incredibly romantic. Dancing under the stars, with a partner who made sure he didn’t stumble even once, and who looked at him as if… As if…

Out of the blue, soft lips covered his for a moment, and then Blaine drew back looking anxious. “That… I… Was that okay? I should have asked.”

Kurt reached out and cradled Blaine’s right cheek in his palm, moving in for a kiss of his own. His lips tingled when he came up for air, and he grinned at Blaine. “More than okay.”


	11. Isabelle's Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All's well that ends well :-) Thank you for coming with me on this adventure, and please let me know what you thought of it. I love chatting with my readers :-)

# Chapter 11: Isabelle’s Wedding

_"And will you promise me, never to enter into such an engagement?"_

_"I will make no promise of the kind."_

(An excerpt from _Pride and Prejudice_ , by Jane Austen)

Blaine hadn’t been expecting any reply to his e-mail, but got a terse note back. Message received. All right, then. Moving on.

He threw himself into his work. By now, he’d pretty much become Cooper’s right hand, well-versed in the tricks of the trade, and maybe not as good at networking as his brother was, but a lot more efficient when it came to all the practical stuff.

And he liked the work. Coop did ads for all manner of things, so it never got stale, and each new contract brought fresh challenges Blaine could sink his teeth into.

Coop had carefully sounded him out over the summer to know if he considered staying on at Anderson Advertising after he graduated. “I’d give you half of the shares. We’re a good team, aren’t we, bro?”

Wow. Things were serious when Coop didn’t even call him ‘squirt’. But it was true that they worked together well, and complemented each other. So Blaine readily agreed to stay on, provided he could do other jobs on the side whenever an opportunity presented itself.

The week before his classes at NYU would start again was grueling. Long hours, clients from hell wanting to micro-manage things though they didn’t have a clue what they were doing, lots of fetching and carrying and sorting out small disasters before they could become big.

“Hamptons this weekend?” Blaine asked his brother on Friday, while locking up the warehouse.

“Sure, sounds great. Oh, but tonight, you’re on your own, ‘cause I have a date. I’ll come to the Hamptons on Saturday, all right?”

Blaine shrugged. “Fine.”

He drove to the Hamptons in Coop’s convertible, enjoying the wind in his hair. He’d been uncomfortably sweaty all day, and couldn’t wait to jump into the pool.

Once he arrived at the house, he started stripping immediately, grimacing at his sweat-soaked clothes. He hesitated for a second, and then peeled his underwear off, too.

_Much better!_

The Uptons next door were on a cruise anyway, according to Coop, so Blaine could do as he pleased. And that included jumping straight into the swimming pool without hunting for his speedo first. Humming happily, he strode out of the house, stopping at the parapet for a moment to soak up the sun and enjoy a soft summer breeze on his skin, and then diving into the pool.

_Aah, bliss!_

He’d barely done two laps when he heard someone next door, calling for ‘Kurt’. Could it be?

He swam to the side of the pool and looked into the neighbours’ garden. And yes, it was Kurt! He had his back to Blaine, but he’d recognize that quiff and that profile anywhere.

Kurt was wearing [tiny yellow shorts that hugged his butt beautifully, and a T-shirt with flamingoes on it](https://66.media.tumblr.com/2cf32f6054e7194d37bd64d059538e20/b18af03bdafbee32-15/s500x750/c949cc3a7aca40fdd1046840cff90549142f9266.png). It was the most casual outfit Blaine had ever seen him in, and it stirred feelings in him he desperately tried to squash.

_He hasn’t noticed me. I should get inside and put some clothes on before I talk to him. Or I could just forget about him entirely and stay in the house until he’s gone._

Quickly, he hoisted himself out of the pool and grabbed a towel, meaning to head inside and get dressed, but his subconscious had other ideas. Before he knew it, his feet had led him into the neighbours’ garden, and he’d called out, “Kurt?”

Kurt turned around, and his mouth fell open when he took in Blaine’s state of undress.

Just when Blaine internally started berating himself, he caught a glint of heat in Kurt’s eyes, and he noticed that Kurt’s shorts had become just as snug in front as they were in the back.

_Oh. Oh! I can work with that!_

Blaine gave Kurt his most seductive smile and unobtrusively pulled his towel a little lower.

Kurt’s Adam’s apple jumped up, and his voice sounded high and thready when he greeted Blaine.

Blaine couldn’t help but feel a bit smug about the effect he had on Kurt, though he kept the conversation general and light.

And then there was that other voice again, and a tall and handsome guy, who looked vaguely familiar, sauntered up to them.

Suddenly, Blaine felt very underdressed and foolish again, and jealous of how Tall and Handsome moved into Kurt’s personal space as a matter of course, putting an arm around Kurt’s shoulder as he introduced himself to Blaine.

_Elliott. Where have I seen him before? Oh, yes, at that very first wedding, officiating, right?_

Much as he wanted to resent Elliott for barging in on his tête-à-tête with Kurt, he couldn’t, because the guy was so nice and welcoming. And apparently, a fellow NYU student, who also took Music History, albeit on Mondays, and was in Steve’s study group.

Before Blaine knew it, he’d agreed to join them for dinner, and was walking back to his own house to get dressed.

He could feel eyes following him, and with a grin, he loosened the knot of the towel, letting it fall off him entirely just before he slipped into the veranda.

_Go on, take a look. You know you want to._

K&B

Dinner proved to be a noisy and informal affair. Kurt and his friends didn’t stand on ceremony. They just grabbed the take-away box with the food they wanted and dug in. Rachel didn’t stop talking for a minute, and in between bites, the others chimed in, too.

Blaine ate ravenously. He’d skipped lunch again because he’d been kept so busy, and he felt so hungry he could eat a horse.

The only one who noticed his less than dapper table manners was Kurt, who quirked an eyebrow at the sauce smeared all over his cheeks and his chin and gave him a paper towel to wipe his face clean.

_Oops, totally forgot about making a good impression. Yep, Mr. Sloppy here, sorry about that…_

Blaine tried to make up for it with a charming grin, and got a small smile back, which he counted as a win.

After dinner, there was singing. Blaine enjoyed the group songs, and loved jamming with Elliott, but the absolute highlight of the evening proved to be Kurt’s solo.

From the very first line of the song, Blaine was blown away by Kurt’s voice, which was clear as a bell and so pure that it brought tears to his eyes. Kurt’s performance was heartfelt and deeply moving, and Blaine felt himself falling more in love with him with every word he sang.

When it was Blaine’s turn to sing, he picked an old favourite of his, Teenage Dream. His eyes found Kurt’s, and he sang every word to him.

Kurt’s expression started out as polite interest, but his smile grew warmer and bigger with every verse, and when Dani took over from Blaine with a bluesy ditty, Kurt came towards Blaine of his own accord.

Soon, they were chatting like old friends and getting on like a house on fire, because of course Blaine had read Patty Lupone’s memoir, and of course Marion Cotillard was his favourite Vogue cover, that went without saying.

They talked until they were hoarse, and Blaine volunteered to go to the kitchen to get them both a glass of water. When he got back, Kurt had conjured up a blanket from somewhere, claiming he felt cold, and Blaine took that as an opportunity to put his arm around Kurt and cuddle in close.

Kurt shot him a thankful smile and shared the blanket with him for the rest of the evening.

Blaine was hardly aware of others being present besides themselves, having no eyes for anyone but Kurt. This was everything he’d ever wanted ever since he’d first clapped eyes on Kurt: this amazing guy noticing Blaine and liking him, and wanting to get to know him better.

When Kurt dropped his head onto Blaine’s shoulder, and started yawning, first discreetly, and then jaw-breaking yawns he couldn’t hide behind his hand anymore, Blaine knew that the polite thing to do would be to say goodnight and go home.

He threw a furtive look at the others, and found Mark grinning at him and winking.

Blaine grinned back, and shuffled around until he and Kurt were lying down instead of sitting, Kurt’s head on Blaine’s chest.

Blaine softly stroked Kurt’s hair, and Kurt nuzzled closer and made a content purring sound.

Within minutes, Kurt was out like a light. Blaine tucked the blanket in around him, and then just luxuriated in the feeling of having him so close-by and so trusting, grinning dopily at the ceiling and humming along whenever one of the others sang a song.

He didn’t fall asleep until long after everyone had gone to their respective bedrooms, feeling too jittery and hyper for his brain to slow down.

He half-woke early in the morning when Kurt got up to pee, but didn’t fully wake until a delicious smell wafted into his nostrils.

He sniffed appreciatively and opened his eyes.

Kurt was no longer with him on the sofa, but he wasn’t far away, bustling around in the kitchen. And baking, apparently. He was just taking a tray out of the oven, and the way his shorts stretched around his booty was as mouth-watering as the treats he’d made.

Blaine adjusted himself in his shorts and got up, stretching to get the kinks out of his back.

“Nice view,” said Elliott, waggling his eyebrows as he passed by Blaine on the way to the kitchen, and then “Ow!” when Dani poked him and hissed, “No hitting on other people’s boyfriends, you’ve got your own!”

Blaine beamed at being perceived as Kurt’s boyfriend. He saw everyone trickling in and grabbing cinnamon buns, so he hastened to take one too before they were all gone.

He took a big bite and closed his eyes as flavours exploded in his mouth.

His first bun was gone in mere minutes, but when he took a second, Kurt lifted it out of his hands again.

Before he could start pouting, Kurt handed it back to him, now dripping in glaze. And mmm, that made the bun ten times better still.

It must have been that level of perfection addling Blaine’s brain that made him suddenly blurt out a marriage proposal to Kurt.

Everyone took it as a joke, including Kurt, but the scary thing was that Blaine meant every word. He’d liked Kurt from the beginning, because he seemed to be the whole package: gorgeous, stylish, smart, witty, a great cook and a caring person, who went out of his way to help his friends. Last night had proved that they also had very similar tastes in music, movies and fashion, and that they shared the same views on relationships and life goals. And yes, it had taken Kurt far too long to notice Blaine, and there had been plenty of misunderstandings and road blocks on the way, but they’d established a connection now. They really clicked, just like Blaine always knew they would. It felt amazing, and Blaine never wanted to spend a day away from Kurt anymore.

_Calm down, tiger! Slow and easy wins the race. You’ve made progress last night. Definite progress._

That seemed to be on Mark’s mind too when he asked what was going on between Kurt and Blaine.

If Blaine had any hopes of Kurt acknowledging this growing bond between them, they were dashed at once when Kurt brushed off the question and didn’t even look in his direction.

Quietly, Blaine excused himself and went home.

Kurt gave him some extra cinnamon buns to take with him, but he couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm about that.

_Have I been misreading things again?_

It was all the more confusing because Kurt smiled sunnily at him and told him to come over again that evening, and when Blaine mentioned his brother, nonchalantly said Coop could come along too, as if it didn’t matter one way or another.

The mixed signals made Blaine’s head whirl, and as soon as Cooper was awake, he discussed it with him.

“Well, I wasn’t there, so I can’t say for sure,” Coop hedged, “but there certainly seems to be something going on between you two. You know what, I’ll invite the lot of them to dinner tonight. If you’ll do the cooking. Then I can observe the two of you and tell you what I think. All right? We’ll do that. But for the record, squirt, I think you’re doing great. Just, don’t mope tonight, okay? Even if he’s being confusing, running hot and cold. Keep your cool and make sure you’re the most charming, interesting and sexy guy in the room.”

“Easy for you to say, Mr. Hottest Billionaire Under Forty.”

“Hey, you’ve got a lot going for you, squirt, and I’ve seen Kurt looking!”

Blaine sighed. “But Elliott’s going to be there too, and the guy’s this glitter rock vampire. Wears eyeliner and earrings, has plenty of tattoos. Cool factor through the roof! How can I ever compete with the likes of that?”

“Blaine.”

“Yes?”

“Who did Kurt talk to all evening last night?”

“Me.”

“That’s right. So don’t put yourself down. You have what it takes to get his attention. Make yourself so irresistible that this Elliott doesn’t even make a blip on his radar. Wear those red chinos of yours that do wonders for your butt, and DON’T gel your hair.”

Blaine saluted his brother. “Aye aye, sir.”

That evening, when Kurt and his friends arrived, they brought a spectacular dessert, and it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that Kurt had made it. Was there anything he couldn’t do?

As he had promised his brother, Blaine didn’t mope, not even when Kurt sat far away from him at the table, or joined Cooper’s team to play Pictionary.

After the game, though, he took his chance to sit next to Kurt when Rachel gave up that place to go check out Cooper’s karaoke machine.

He jumped up again at once when Kurt asked if they could talk in private, and led the way into the garden.

Apparently, Kurt felt bad about misjudging Blaine, and wanted to clear the air between them so that they could start over.

Well, that was encouraging, so Blaine reassured Kurt as best he could, and then asked him to dance, right there in the garden.

He got so swept away by the romance of it all that he kissed Kurt mid-dance, and then jumped back, horrified at his lack of impulse control. Kurt didn’t seem to mind, though. He kissed Blaine right back, and they stayed in the garden until it got too cold.

Blaine walked Kurt back to the house next door, and then drew him in for one more kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kurt asked, a little breathless.

“You will. If this is not a dream I’m about to wake up from.”

Kurt’s eyes danced with mischief. “Want me to pinch you, honey?”

“I want… I want so many things. But I’d better shut up and go home before I scare you off.”

Kurt framed Blaine’s face with his hands and moved in until their foreheads touched. “Relax. I’m not easily scared. You can blurt out as many marriage proposals as you like. Fair warning, though: one of these days I might say yes. So don’t ask unless you mean it.”

Blaine huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I mean it. Marry me, Kurt?”

Kurt tapped his nose playfully. “One day, maybe. Keep asking. Good night, honey.”

Blaine was reluctant to open his eyes the following morning, convinced that it had all been a dream, but when he arrived in the kitchen, Coop was there and demanding “Deets, bro!”

Blaine blinked at him sleepily.

“You disappeared with Kurt and didn’t show up again all night. So, what happened? You didn’t elope, did you? Cause I’d have to disown you if you cheat me out of a wedding!”

Blaine filled a mug with coffee, drank deeply and then sat down at the table, helping himself to a piece of toast and buttering it. “Don’t worry, there was no elopement. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He’d added strawberry jam to the toast and eaten half of it before Coop spoke up again. “But something happened, right?”

Blaine felt the corners of his mouth tilt up of their own accord.

“Spill!”

Just then, Coop’s cell phone started ringing, and when he checked the caller ID, he laughed and answered the call at once. “Hey Kurt! You’re on speaker phone.”

“Hey Cooper! I just realized that I have your number, but not Blaine’s. I forgot to ask last night.”

Blaine made a grab for Cooper’s phone, but Coop held it out of his reach and laughed again. “Now why would you be needing my brother’s number, Mr. Hummel? What are your intentions with him?”

Blaine groaned, “Coop!”

“Oh hey, good morning, honey!” said Kurt’s chipper voice.

Coop mouthed “Honey?”, but Blaine made a throat-slash movement and gestured for him to hand the phone over. Coop didn’t, though. He put it behind his back and wagged his finger reprovingly at Blaine.

Kurt’s voice floated out of the speaker again. “To answer your question, Cooper, I was hoping to ask Blaine out on a date.”

Blaine, grinning ear to ear, jumped Coop and tried to wrestle the phone away from him. After a short struggle, he managed to grab it, and ran away. “I’ll be in my room if you need me, Coop!”

As soon as he was in his room, he said, “Good morning!”

Kurt laughed. “What did you do, steal your brother’s phone?”

“I borrowed it. Tell me more about this date, please?”

“Well, how do you feel about going for ice cream this afternoon?”

K&B

After that first date, many more followed, and for months on end, Blaine felt like he was floating on air because he was so happy.

The proposing had become their inside joke, and whether or not they were together, the last thing Blaine said or texted each day was “Marry me, Kurt?”

Kurt always answered with some kind of quip, or with a kiss, but Blaine kept hoping that one day, he’d actually say yes.

They were both extremely busy, Blaine with school and work, and Kurt with school, work and the preparations for a high profile wedding. Isabelle, his boss at Vogue dot com, was getting married, and insisted on having Kurt as her wedding planner. Seeing as it would be a high society affair, with over three hundred big name guests, Kurt was determined to make it a wedding to remember.

“If all goes well, maybe I’ll be asked to plan other weddings,” he told Blaine. “I mean, professionally. Getting paid for it and all. I’ve planned loads by now, but those were always favours to friends and family, and if anything, I spent money on them instead of earning any.”

“You’d like to do this as a job?”

Kurt nodded. “Maybe not exclusively, but I love planning events.”

Blaine discussed this with his brother, who promised to network on Kurt’s behalf at Isabelle’s wedding. Coop knew Isabelle from his modelling days, and they had several friends and acquaintances in common, so that would be a good start.

Coop took Blaine to the wedding as his plus one again, but this time around, Blaine didn’t protest. He was actually eager to go, and see his boyfriend in his element.

Thanks to Kurt’s flawless taste and planning and Isabelle actually having a decent budget to work with, every aspect of the wedding was perfect, down to the minute details. Blaine smiled to himself as he took in the overall effect.

Isabelle looked splendid in a voluminous dress and a hat that looked like a bird flying away, and the ceremony was moving.

During the reception, Blaine let Cooper flit through the crowd schmoozing, content to stay on the sidelines and observe. Only… That led to him hearing a conversation he was definitely not meant to overhear, between Kurt and Isabelle.

“I must say, Kurt, you’ve outdone yourself!”

“Thank you, thank you! And thank you so much for inviting Cooper, who’s been talking me up to everyone he knows! I’ve already had ten people ask for my business card because they want me to plan their wedding, too.”

“Oh, of course I invited Cooper. Who else would buy me a [Solange Azagury-Partridge necklace](https://www.alux.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Most-Expensive-Items-Carrie-Bradshaw-Wore-Top-10-1.-Solange-Azagury-Partridge-necklace-198200.png) as a wedding present? Everyone else has bought me boring gifts.”

“Useful, you mean,” Kurt laughed.

“To you, maybe. A necklace is far more useful to me than a set of Japanese knives. Those will just collect dust in the kitchen.”

“How tragic… Thank heavens Coop bought you something you like!”

“Hmm… So you’re in demand as a wedding planner now, huh, thanks to Cooper? I bet you’re glad now that he accepted that fake invitation of Brittany’s that forced you to organize an actual wedding!”

“Oh, that wasn’t the first time I planned a wedding. That would have been my dad marrying Carole.”

Blaine paid no attention to the rest of their talk. He’d heard enough. So that wedding HAD been fake! And Blaine HAD been right calling them out about it!

Anger swelled inside of him like a balloon, and as soon as Isabelle moved away from Kurt to talk to other guests, he grabbed Kurt’s arm.

“Oh hey, honey! What… Are you okay?”

Blaine glared at Kurt. “No, I’m not!”

Kurt’s eyebrows went up. “I know it must be boring for you, but I’m working tonight. I need to keep an eye on things, and stay here until the party’s over to make sure everything goes as planned.”

“Oh, it’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“I heard you, just now. Brittana’s wedding was fake! Exactly as I thought! And you made me feel horrible for calling them out!”

Kurt’s eyes flashed. “Well, you WERE horrible, Mr. Snob! Dissing all my hard work and calling it cheap!”

“You tricked my brother into spending a fortune!”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “I doubt it even made a dent. He’s a billionaire. We gave him a party to remember in return, and he was perfectly content. The only one who was a stick-in-the-mud about it was you!”

Someone cleared their throat behind them, and they turned around.

“Father!” said Blaine. “What are you doing here?”

“Manners, boy! I was invited. So this is the twink who’s got his hooks in you? Hmm. Not a very good influence on you if he’s got you screeching like a fishwife. If you really have to pick a guy instead of a girl, why don’t you choose one with breeding? One with a pedigree instead of a mongrel. The Smythes have brought their son along. Sebastian. He’s a barrister, I believe, and he’s also chosen the gay lifestyle.”

Blaine pinched his nose and told himself to stay calm. “Nobody CHOOSES to be gay, Father.”

“Hmm. I’ll send Sebastian your way.”

Edward Anderson didn’t wait for an answer and walked away.

“Well, I’ll let you and the pedigree dog get acquainted, then,” Kurt said. “Careful, though. If he’s the guy I think it is, he’s been harassing several waiters, copping a feel and offering them money to give him a blowjob in the backroom.”

“Kurt, I’m…”

But Kurt was gone before Blaine could apologise, and when Blaine followed him, he was stopped by a tall guy with green eyes and a smirk.

“Blaine, if I’m not mistaken? I’m Sebastian Smythe. Pleasure.”

“Hi… Yes, I’m Blaine. Excuse me.”

Blaine wanted to step away from the guy and go find Kurt, but Sebastian grabbed him by the arm. “What do you say we go to the restroom and get better acquainted?”

“Uhm, no, thank you. Excuse me, I have someone to see.”

“When your father pointed you out to me, I thought, nah, not my type, but then I saw your ass and I thought, well…”

Sebastian goosed Blaine so firmly that he yelped.

A moment later, Sebastian was the one in discomfort. Kurt had come back and had taken Sebastian’s ear in a death grip, hissing, “Okay, that’s IT! Out with you!”

Kurt stalked out of the ballroom, tugging a whimpering Sebastian after him by his ear.

Kurt escorted Sebastian out of the building, only stopping at the reception desk of the venue to tell the security guard that Mr. Sebastian Smythe was on no account to be let back in.

Then he went back upstairs without even acknowledging Blaine, who had followed him and tried once again to apologise.

_Uh-oh. He’s really mad._

Blaine stole back into the ballroom with his tail between his legs, standing quietly against a wall and observing again, but he no longer enjoyed it.

And then he saw his father talking to Kurt, and they both left the room. What was going on?

He debated following them out, but decided he’d done enough eavesdropping for the day, and angered his boyfriend enough as it was.

Kurt wasn’t away for long. His face was impassive when he entered the ballroom again, and his shoulders stiff.

Edward Anderson followed a little later, his face a thundercloud. He looked around until he spotted Blaine, and headed straight to him.

“I forbid you to marry him. Understand? I will cut you off without a cent!”

Blaine raised his eyebrows. “Haven’t you done that already when I went to college?”

His father’s face turned puce. “You…”

“Yes?”

“There’s no arguing with either of you, is there? Stubborn fools! I offered the twink up to four million dollars to stay away from you, but he said no.”

Blaine smiled thinly. “We don’t need your money. I’ve enough of my own.”

His father froze. “You are NOT to marry that twink. If you do, neither your mother nor I will ever speak to you again.”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow and drawled, “That would be a terrible hardship.”

A vein on his father’s forehead swelled up to the point where it could explode any moment. “Are you mocking me? Ugh, I’m washing my hands of you. From now on, I only have one son. Goodbye.”

Blaine watched his father go.

_Well, that happened… But surely, if Kurt refused Father’s offer, that means he won’t stay mad for keeps, right?_

Right at that moment, he felt someone encircle his waist and hook their chin over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey.”

Blaine turned around in Kurt’s embrace and nuzzled his cheek. “I’m not. Good riddance, really. Cooper is all the family I need. And you, if you’ll have me.”

“Always. Even when you’re being a blockhead.”

Blaine beamed at Kurt. “So you’re saying yes?”

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. “To what question would that be?”

Blaine plucked a ring box from his inside pocket, opened it so Kurt could see the ring, went down on one knee and asked, “Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?”

Kurt pulled him up again and kissed him, then held out his hand for Blaine to put the ring on. “Yes. Yes, I will. I can plan the wedding, right?”

Blaine laughed, and then squeaked when his brother lifted up the both of them like they weighed nothing, twirled them around and boomed, “You’d better!”

When Cooper put them down again, he grinned and said, “I get to be your best man, right, Blaine? I’ve got LOTS of fun stories to share!”

Blaine groaned, and then grimaced when Kurt laughed delightedly and said, “I want to hear them all!”

Cooper clapped Kurt on the shoulder. “You will, bro-in-law! So, tell me, what do you guys want as a wedding present? Pick something fun, please!”

Kurt tilted his head to the side. “Hmm… Maybe a nice honeymoon? I’ve always wanted to visit Europe. London, of course. Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Buckingham Palace, Harrods, afternoon tea at the Ritz. Paris, to go see the Louvre and Versailles. Milan during fashion week. What do you think, honey?”

Blaine grinned. “Just the platform? Let’s do a whole Harry Potter tour! And go to Legoland!”

Cooper whooped. “Awesome! You get cracking on planning the wedding, and I’ll book you the perfect honeymoon. It’s going to be so much fun. Can I come too?”

“No!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is always welcome here or on Tumblr (I'm lilyvandersteen there too).
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	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you asked for an epilogue, so here it finally is. Not as long or as detailed as I might have wanted and you might have expected, but words aren't coming easily to me these days. I hope this brings a smile to your face, and makes you forget the world we live in for a minute. Sending you all hugs XOXOXO Take care and stay safe!

Blaine looked up from the sauce he was stirring when he heard the front door open and close. “How was your day, love?”

Kurt sighed, passing a hand over his eyes, and took his shoes and coat off sluggishly. He joined Blaine in the kitchen and hugged him from behind, kissing his neck. “Better now that I’m with you.”

“That bad, huh?”

Kurt’s head drooped onto Blaine’s shoulder. “The worst. If these two keep fighting like this over every detail, they’re going to split up before the wedding even takes place, and stiff me with all the bills.”

“You’ve already paid for stuff?”

Kurt nodded. “Deposits. For the venue. And the cake. And the caterer. And the florist. And the DJ. Ugh.”

Blaine hummed and stirred on until the sauce thickened, thinking hard. “Do you think it would be possible to use the deposits you made for another couple? That could solve the problem of them walking out on you.”

Kurt quirked his head to the side. “Well, in theory, yes, but who will I find that would be willing to marry just five weeks from now and will leave all the choices up to me?”

Blaine switched off the stove and smiled at Kurt, but before he could answer, the front door opened again.

“Hellooo lovebirds!” Cooper grinned. “I just knew I could count on one of you having made dinner. You don’t mind if I join you, do you? I’m starved!”

Blaine rolled his eyes at his brother, but took another plate from the cupboard and filled it, handing it to Cooper with cutlery.

Cooper dug in without even waiting for Kurt and Blaine to be served, and all was quiet until he finished his plate.

“Sooo what’s up with you, lovebirds? Haven’t heard much from either of you the past few weeks. Blaine’s working on the H&M deal, I know, but what’s new with you, Kurtsie?”

Kurt glared at Cooper. “Don’t call me that.”

“Ooh, I’m sensing a lot of stress. Blaine not taking care of you like he should?”

Kurt’s glare intensified. “It has nothing to do with Blaine, thank you very much. I’m stressing out over work stuff.”

“Anything I could help with?” Cooper offered.

That made Kurt thaw out slightly. “No, not really. Unless you’d be willing to marry five weeks from now?”

“Uhm, Kurt, I think you’re talking to the wrong brother. Blaine is over there.”

Cooper helpfully pointed to Blaine, who rolled his eyes again.

Kurt huffed. “I’m well aware… Oh!”

Kurt’s mouth fell open and he looked at Blaine. “Would you?”

Blaine smiled at Kurt. “I’d marry you anytime, anywhere, anyhow. I promise. I haven’t pushed you to start planning our wedding because I know how insanely busy you’ve been. But the truth is, I can’t wait to call you my husband. So if these two split up and leave you in the lurch, then yes, by all means use everything for our wedding. Absolutely.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. You chose everything, so it’s sure to be fabulous.”

Kurt frowned. “Well, yes, it’s tasteful, but it’s not what I would have chosen for us.”

Blaine shrugged. “Let’s just get married and then we can plan a vow renewal ceremony exactly the way you envisioned it in a few years or so.”

Kurt’s brow smoothed out, and he laughed. “Mr. Problem Solver to the rescue! Thank you, sweetheart. I feel much better about this already. Only… What do we do about the invitations? If we wait until these two break up, it’s going to be short notice. If we send them out now and they don’t break up, we won’t be able to get married that day, ‘cause I’ll be overseeing their wedding.”

Just then, his phone rang. It was the bride-to-be, and her screeching was loud enough for Blaine and Cooper to hear her call her fiancé a couple of interesting swear words and call the wedding off. “I caught the bastard screwing my maid of honour behind my back! Cancel everything, you hear! And if there are bills to pay, send them to that good-for-nothing scumbag!”

There was silence for a moment after she’d rung off.

Then Cooper said chipperly, “Well, that solves the invitation problem! If I can help addressing invitations, just say the word!”

That cracked Blaine up, and before long, all three of them were laughing their heads off.

K&B

Five weeks later, Blaine held Kurt’s hands, looked deep into his eyes, and spoke from his heart as he promised to cherish Kurt forever. He choked up a little towards the end of his vows, but managed to get all the words out before he started crying.

Cooper handed him a handkerchief and whispered, “Here you go, cry-baby.”

Blaine let out a squeaky little laugh, dabbed at his eyes and turned his attention to Kurt, clasping hands with him again to listen to Kurt’s vows.

When they walked down the aisle towards their family and friends after the ceremony, Blaine couldn’t help sneaking glances at his wedding ring every few seconds and beaming. He felt the cold metal of Kurt’s rings against the palm of his hand, and his smile stretched even wider.

Burt Hummel was the first to hug the both of them, closely followed by Carole, and then Cooper clapped Kurt on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family, bro! Wait ‘till you find out what I’ve planned for your honeymoon, you’re going to LOVE it!”

Only inviting one family member to the wedding did not save Blaine from embarrassing stories. Cooper, fulfilling his duty as best man by speeching at dinner, dug up every anecdote he could think of that would make people laugh at his brother’s expense, and Blaine cringed the whole time.

Kurt loved it, though, giggling his head off, his eyes crinkling and all his teeth showing. That made Blaine smile, no matter how much he hated Cooper’s anecdotes.

The best part of the wedding, though, for Blaine, was all the guests telling them what a perfect couple they made. Every time that happened, Kurt beamed and pulled Blaine a bit closer still.

During their first dance, Kurt dipped Blaine to loud cheers, and then pulled him up again until their noses were touching. He whispered, “Happy, Mr. Hummel-Anderson?”

Blaine kissed him softly. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

K&B

The honeymoon was everything Cooper had promised and more. They did a Jane Austen tour and a Harry Potter tour in the UK, they had a Willy Wonka themed high tea in London and visited Buckingham Palace and the Tower. On the European mainland, they went to Florence and Milan and Venice, they saw the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona and the royal palace in Lisbon.

And then, when they went to Paris, they saw a familiar face sauntering up to them while they were having tea at Angelina’s.

“Cooper!”

Cooper pretended to be very surprised. “Fancy seeing you here! I needed a bit of a break, so where better than the City of Love, if you catch my drift?”

He waggled his eyebrows, and Blaine shook his head, chuckling. “Oh please, like we’d believe that! You’re here because we’re going to Disneyland tomorrow. Admit it. You want to come along with us, don’t you?”

Cooper grinned. “Now how nice of you to invite me! Yes, I’d love to go to Disneyland with you guys!”

Kurt burst out laughing.

“I told you so, didn’t I?” Blaine sighed. “I’m surprised it took this long for Coop to show up.”

“Aww, Blainey, don’t be like that! I’ve been SO good. I gave you more than two weeks to yourselves!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “And you couldn’t have left us in peace for one more week?”

Cooper took a chair from another table and straddled it, whining, “But I missed you guys!”

An impeccably dressed waiter came to take Cooper’s order, and didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow when Coop told him to bring, “A bit of everything. Savoury and sweet. I’m really hungry. Oh, and that amazing hot chocolate you have here. Please.”

As soon as the waiter had left, Cooper smiled widely at Kurt. “So how’s the honeymoon been so far? Did it live up to your expectations?”

“Now, really, that is….” Blaine spluttered, but Kurt put a hand on his arm.

“Relax, honey, I don’t think your brother’s asking about the sex we’ve been having. He’s asking about all the entertainment and hotels and food he’s arranged for us.”

Blaine deflated. “Oh…”

Kurt’s eyes flitted from Blaine’s sheepish face to Cooper’s horrified expression and started laughing again, so infectiously that they both joined in.

“To answer your question, Cooper,” Kurt said, stealing a fry from the platter that had just arrived for Cooper, “we’ve loved everything you’ve booked for us so far. That Bond in Motion exhibition was especially wonderful. I loved seeing all those James Bond cars – made me wish Dad was with me to geek out over them. I bought him the book, though.”

“And I loved taking the Hogwarts Express and visiting Alnwick Castle,” Blaine chimed in, taking one of Cooper’s leek and cheese tartlets.

“Hey, stop eating my stuff!” Cooper complained.

Blaine looked at the giant platter with mini quiches, croques, small servings of soup and salad, filled croissants and even truffle ravioli, dwarfing the table they were sitting at. Then he looked at the three-tier stand waiting on a table next to them holding every possible type of dessert. “Where will you put all that? If we don’t help you eat it, you’ll still be here next week.”

“True, that. Well, then, dug in!”

K&B

Much as Blaine complained about Cooper ruining their honeymoon, it WAS fun going to Disneyland with his brother.

“Just like old times, isn’t it, squirt?” Cooper grinned while racing Blaine and Kurt to Peter Plan’s Flight, his Mickey Mouse ears wobbling like mad.

By noon, they’d hit pretty much all of the Fantasyland and Tomorrowland attractions, and now Kurt and Blaine sat on a bench eating a sandwich and giggling at Cooper, who was now flirting with the actress impersonating the Disney character of Aurora. Sleeping Beauty and Cooper ended up singing “Once Upon a Dream” together, and children crowded around them eagerly, clamouring for pictures with both of them.

Cooper happily obliged, and joined Kurt and Blaine with a skip in his step.

“I got her phone number!” he whispered. “And she encouraged me to apply for a job here as a Disney prince!”

Kurt laughed. “Of course she did. You are every inch a Disney prince. Must be something in the Anderson genes, ‘cause Blaine is just as much of a prince, aren’t you, sweetie?”

Blaine beamed and kissed Kurt, murmuring softly in Kurt’s ear that he was a prince to him too.

“Okay, okay, stop with the mushiness, please,” Cooper said. “We’re here to have FUN!”

They took turns trying to get the Excalibur sword out of the stone, making quite a performance of it again, to the delight of the children present, and then went and bought fake swords in one of the souvenir shops so that they could have a sword fight.

In no time, Kurt had disarmed both Blaine and Cooper.

“Years of combat training,” he shrugged when they complimented him, but a small smile playing on his lips belied his nonchalance.

The day ended with a spectacular fireworks display, which made Cooper whoop so loudly he startled some nearby ducks.

Blaine shook his head at his brother. “You’d think he was the younger one, not me.”

“Aww, I think it’s sweet he’s still so enthusiastic about anything and everything,” Kurt said. “That’s what I like most about Cooper. He’s rich as Croesus and could be on a yacht in Monte Carlo right now, waited on hand and foot and snobbish like anything. But that’s not his style, and I’m glad it’s not. He takes delight in the smallest things in life, and in doing so, he makes everyone around him happier.”

“True.”

Blaine nestled his head against Kurt’s shoulder with a soft sigh of contentment and focused on the fireworks again. He’d take a leaf out of his brother’s book and enjoy this perfect moment.

And with Kurt, a perfect life.

THE END


End file.
